Bakura's Annoyed What Will He Do?
by Nadako-Mika
Summary: Ryou is hosting a party, and everyones gonna be there! Bakura's getting annoyed and is about to snap. What's gonna happen? {Ch. 9; What's this about CHIBIS? Bakura and Yami are caught in the middle of it all! Can they work together for once?}
1. PLEEEASSE!

**Nadako:** My randomness-ness! I've completely lost it! Maybe it was the candy...*lopsided grin*   
**Jou:** No...it's you.   
**Nadako: -BONK-** *hold up Sennen Rod* AH-HAHA! This thing does come in handy ^.^.   
**Jou:** =.= *large bump*   
**Nadako:** ¬¬ and I can promise you, Jou, you're not going to show up in this fic until the next chapter..if I even write one...   
**Jou: -Phoomp-** *falls over* @.@   
**Nadako:** ' ' *blinks* -_- now who's going to read the disclaimers?   
**Anzu:** MEEE!!!! ^o^   
**Nadako:** *clears throat* I ask again...who wants to read the disclaimers?   
**Anzu:** *waves arms furiously* MEE!!!   
**Nadako:** ANYONE? *oblivious to Anzu* I'll read it myself if no one wants to read it!   
**Anzu:** *jumping up and down holding a sign that reads: MEE!! PICK ME!*   
**Nadako:** *sighs* I guess no one wants to read the disclaimers.. ah well. I'll read it then! ^^   
**Anzu:** *heavy sigh* -.- *walks away*

**Disclaimer:**   
**Nadako:** *clears throat* I OWN YUGIOH! MWUAHAHA! XD   
**Lawyers appear arguing over who gets this case**   
**Nadako:** *runs around* ^^I OWN YUGIOH!   
** All lawyers agree to something **   
**Nadako:** *still running and shouting*   
**Lawyer 1:** *clears throat*   
**Lawyer 2:** Miss, we've heard talk about you claiming to own Yugioh.   
**Nadako:** *stops and shouts* I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!   
**Lawyer 3:** Oh well...*blinks* We must have the wrong person. Very sorry Miss.   
**Nadako:** T_T damned lawyers...

----------------------------------

  
  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed...What will he do???**   
Chapter 1: PLEEEASSE?!   
By: Nadako-mika

  
  
  
  


_Anger Management   
Volume 3: How Not to Kill Your Hikari_

Bakura blinked at the title. '_I wonder who could have written this_' He never bothered to check the author's page...-.- and continued reading:

_Lesson 1: Throw Away Your Weapons_

Most Yamis (By MOST I mean ALL) are fascinated by sharp pointy things that can puncture and rip out human or animal flesh, and make blood and other fluids leak out from their victim- um..getting off topic. Anyways... In order NOT to kill your dear Hikari you must HIDE or THROW AWAY your harmful weap-

"Meh...no help." Bakura flipped to another page of the Big Blue Book of Anger Management.

_Lesson 2: Listen To Your Hikari_

Yamis (YOU) tend to think that because your all Dark-ish, you are very tough and strong. Infact Yamis (YOU) tend to go on little rampages around town, killing innocent birds and cats, because they (YOU) think this is true. Get this throught your thick skull: YAMIS ARE WEAK! ( author: I didn't write that I swear! It was his *points to author2* idea!!! ).

Bakura felt his nerves twitch. "WHAT? Us YAMIS, are WEAK!?" He shouted out to himself, "I need an explanation for this..." and continues reading.

_You may want an explanation for this._

"No duh." Bakura twitched in anger some more.

_Infact, you probably would like to kill me (author2) for writing such a true statement._

"TRUE?! You call that crap TRUE?!"

_Yes I do state that 'crap' as a true fact! You would like to kill me now, because you think your so tough and can't be beaten by anyone am I right?_

Bakura slowly nodded to the book.

_Yes well...You've been beaten now._

"What?" He blinks stupidly and re-reads the sentence. "How can I possibly be beaten already? WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT AUTHOR2 I'LL RIP HIM TO SHREDS!!!"

_You're wondering how you've been beaten already. Well...think of this. You say you want to get your hands on me (author2) and rip me to shreds. You've missed two important things. ONE: YOU don't know where I am. You are only READING what I have written. And you don't even know my name, because you probably haven't even checked to see who wrote this book. ^_^ So HA! And TWO: How do you know I'm a HIM? How do you know I'm not a HER? Think about that._

Bakura blinked some more before continuing.

_Now back to the lesson...   
Yes, Hikari's are indeed stronger than Yamis._

Bakura opened his mouth to object, but caught a glimpse of the next sentence:

_Before you open your mouth to object, remember that the more we get into an arguement, the more you have to read as we have another twelve lessons to go!_

He quickly shut his mouth.

_Yami's are weaker than Hikaris. Have you ever noticed that your Hikari is always begging you with his innocent eyes? And you have no power to object to the favor? That is their secret weapon: Innocenceness-ness! They can get almost ANYTHING they want out of you by using that secret technique. And they have another ability. Have you ever noticed that when YOU want something out of THEM, they can always object to the matter, even though you're making death threats to them?_

Bakura nodded dumbly, and continued.

_Well, a hikari's second power is Immunity-ness. They are immune to everything you do to them! They always get back up on their feet. Am I right?_

*nod nod*

_Of course I am. So to end this lesson: Remember to listen to what your hikari says, or you'll be humiliated one way or another by your hikari's special abilities!_

*nod nod*

_Please turn the page for Lesson 3._

Listening to the book, he turned the page. He was at the end of the other page anyways...

_Lesson 3: Be NICE to your Hika-_

He flipped to the next lesson. "Hmph! Nice...right..."

_Lesson 4: ((no title))_

*BIG bolded letters* _**YOU DIDN'T READ LESSON 3 DID YOU? IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TURNED TO LESSON 4!!! NOW GO BACK TO LESSON 3 AND READ IT DAMN YOU!!!!**_

"NO!" Bakura was getting annoyed. He decided to flip to lesson 6...Maybe Lesson 5 had the same message...

_Lesson 6: You Have to READ and OBEY!_

**_Again! You didn't follow the instructions! You didn't go back to Lesson 3! If you want your Hikari to live, READ LESSON 3!! Otherwise...You'll find your hikari dead the next morning...*nod nod*   
Yes..that message is real. You will eventually kill your hikari because of a certain phone call you will receive from him in a matter of minutes._**

O.O *flips back to Lesson 3* "Must read! Don't want a dead Ryou."

_Lesson 3: Be NICE to your Hikari!_

_You're gullable you know that?_

*blink blink* "I am?"

_Yes you are. What makes you think you would kill your Hikari because of a stupid phone call? You really are a sucker hehe...._

Bakura twitches in anger...again...-_-

_Anyways...onto the lesson. There a few things to say...:_

Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari!Be Nice To Your Hikari! Be Nice To Your Hikari!

And that...Is Lesson 3 ^____________^

At this point Bakura is twitching like mad. The phone beside him rings, but he's too mad to notice. "Ah! Whoever it is can leave a message..." *twitch twitch*

((Ryou's voice))   
_Moshi Moshi! You've reached the Bakura residence. We're either not home right now or I (Ryou) am not home and my yami, Bakura, refuses to answer the damned phone because he's mad at a freaking, stupid, useless book he stole from a marketplace. Please leave a message after the tone! _  
((minutes pass by))   
_BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!_

"Hello Bakura!"

"Hi..."

_"If your still mad at that book just throw it away."_

"No."

_"-.- your lazy."_

"I know." *shrugs*

_"Anyway I have a question."_

"Question away!"

_"O,o...right.. Anyways, Can I host a party tonight?"_

"No-"

_"PLEEEEAAAAASSSEE?!"_

"N-"

_"PLEEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!??"_

"I already said- NO!"

_" *pause*....WHYYYYYYYY???!!!"_

"Because!"

_"Because what?"_

"Because...because!"

_"Because, because what?"_

*twitch twitch* He runs off into the kitchen in search for a metal hammer XD

_"Oh, Bakura. While your in the kitchen can you turn off the oven? I forgot to time it and I don't want the pizza to burn."_

*blink blink* "uh..." Bakura becomes confused as to which nob or button he's suppose to use...Oo

_"Its the Black knob that says 'OVEN'. Turn it so the little arrow painted on the knob points to 'OFF'. That's O-F-F!"_

"'kay..." after turning the oven to O-F-F, Bakura searches through the cupboards and draws for a hammer. Little did he know, Ryou had already hidden it. He grumbles as he searched some more, and came upon...a meat tenderizer!!! "That'll do!"

_"Couldn't find a hammer could ya?"_

"Nope!" Bakura answered absentmindedly as he fiddled with the meat tenderizer mallet.

_"Ah-hahahaha! Now you have nothing to hit the phone- Oh shoot...I forgot about that meat mallet! *wacks head*"_

Bakura grinned evilly as he positioned the mallet over the phone.

_"Wait! If you smash the phone I'll get Yami to dispose of you for good!"_

*hides mallet*...*grins innocently* "What? Me, hit the beautiful phone? NAW!"

_"Anyways...back to the question. *takes in air* PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEE?! CAN I PLEEEAASE HOLD A PARTY?????? YOU CAN INVITE A FRIEND OVER! PLEEAASE???"_

*plugs ears* "Alright alright! Yeesh! just stop yelling!

_"THANK YOU BAKU-SAN!!!"_

*waves off* "yeah yea..."

_"Ja ne! The party starts at six tonight, everyone's going to be there! Thanks again Bakura! Oh and please put that mallet back." *click*_

((Message ends))

Bakura blinked stupidly for about...*times*....*bakura blinks...blink blink blink*...*stops timer* twenty seconds, before he walks to the kitchen and puts the mallet back in the drawer. He walked back into the living room and picked up the Big Blue Book of Anger Management, taking a glance at the clock.

"It's 2:30 pm...That's uh....*blinks stupidly*"

Nadako: PSST...three and a half hours.

*looks at a hiding Nadako* "yeah...Three and a half hours till the party!!! Better call Marik..."

Bakura dials the number 666-6666 (Mariks [not really but...¬¬ wutever])

*Dial tone*   
((Mariks voice))   
_Boo! hehe...Oo You've reached the Ishtar's residence, and I'm surprised Isis let me make this messege *blink*. Anyways we're all not home at the moment, Isis it out and we refuse to listen to you talk to us, or my hikari and I are out on a killing rampage. Probably the last one. Anyways, leave a message after the tone. If you find yourself in Hell the next morning we've killed you while you were dreaming about who-knows-what for leaving a message and pissing us off!   
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP- "Hey! who swore and blocked it out?"_

"Marik get down here by six tonight! Ryou's gonna be hosting a party. You and I are going to be torturing some people...*whispers* hehe...that damned pharaoh will never know what hit him...or his hikari *grins evilly*. Bring your hikari if you want...the more the merrier ^^...oy...can't believe I said that...¬¬"

_*click*_   
((Message ends))

Bakura sits back down on the couch and opens the Big Blue Book of Anger Management, flipping it to a random page.

*flip flilp* "I wonder if there's advice on what to do if my hikari is hosting a damned party and inviting his damned friends..." *flip flip*...*stops...and reads*

((bottom of page 9))   
_You probably want to know what to do if your hikari suddenly is hosting a damned party and is inviting his damned friends over right?_

*blink* *nods*

_Well then! Please turn to page 1 and read the little message at the bottom!_

*flip flip* "Oops...wrong direction..." *flips backwards*

((bottom of page 1...small small writing))   
_..,.,,,,.,.,..,...,..,...,,,...,,.,.,.,.....,.,......,.,..,..,...,.,,,.,...,...,..,,,...,.,._

"damn...too small." he says. Bakura gets up and walks upstairs into the office room to get a magnifying glass. Two minutes later you see him stomping down the stairs because he forgot that the office was beside the living room. He walks into the office and is searching for *times again*.......*search search search*..............*stops timer* twenty minutes before giving up and sitting back onto the couch. He put his elbow down onto the side table and bumps something. He finds that its the magnifying glass sitting right beside him all along ^o^. "I hate you Nadako..." he says as he picks it up.

Nadako: *waves* I know you do!

He runs the glass over the small small printing and begins to read.

_You're here because you read the message at the bottom of page 9 right? Well heres a note: This message has been moved to page 263 in Volume 2: Randomn notes. If you're stupid enough, you will actually go to that page in Volume 2 and read the message instead of flipping to page 56 in THIS book._

Bakura grumbles as he stands up to pick out the second volume off the large book shelf. After *watches*....the seventh attemp to grab the book that was carelessly thrown ontop of the seven foot tall bookshelf, Bakura manages to get it. He flips to page 263 and reads:

_Congradulations. You are dubbed thee the most stupid person in the world. Now for your reward: Please turn to page 56 of Volume 3: How to Not Kill Your Hikari for the real message! ^^ thank you and have a great day...stupid idiot!_

Bakura blinked stupidly as he read the message over. When he finally got the meaning he chucked the thing into the fire (which is not there at the moment but will be later on in the party ^^;) He again took out the annoying Big Blue Book of Anger Management and read from the right page...for once.

_Here is what you, the yami, does when he, the hikari, is hosting a party:   
1) You invite another psychotic yami over too and cause mayhem...just remember not to bother the hikaris...for reasons why turn to Lesson 2: Listen To Your Hikari._

2) You can do absolutely nothing. All you can do is lock yourself in a small room and rock slowly back and forth muttering (this happens when you don't invite a friend over..see first option)

Bakura slammed the Big Blue Book of Anger Management shut and sighed heavily. This was going to be a LONG night...

----------------------------------

**Nadako:** *blink blink* alright...that had absolutely nothing to do with the party... *blink blink* (( and I made Bakura seem like a dumbass...XD ))   
**Ryou:** Sure it did! ^___^ You had me bug Bakrua for permission.   
**Nadako:** Oh ya...i gues it did... Ah well. I guess I'll have to put Jou into the next chapter...*sigh sigh*   
**Ryou:** That is...if he ever wakes up...Oo   
**Jou:** @.@ *bump swelling down*   
**Nadako:** XD *takes out meat tenderizer mallet* MWUAHAHA **-BONK-**   
**Jou:** +_+ *bigger bump on bump*   
**Ryou:** O.O remind me to never get on your bad side...   
**Nadako:** *holds recording tape to Ryou* use this!   
**Ryou:** *walks away recording warning*   
**Nadako:** anyways...^o^ Jou isn't going to show next chappy ...I don't think anyways...Oo   
**Bakura:** Yup..You don't think!!   
**Nadako:** ¬¬ must do evil things to Bakura in the next chapter...Anyways... REVIEW PLZ!!! ^o^

PsSt....Evilness-ness never dies! XD


	2. Smashing into Doors

**Nadako:** O.O people actually reviewed for this? I wrote this completely out of boredom... And you people actually READ it? ;.; I'm flattered... I got six reviews...but the first four got deleted while ff.net was being updated T_T If you reviewed for the first chapter please tell me so I can thank you!

**Jou:** +.+   
**Nadako:** *pokes Jou* He's not in any condition to be showing up in this chapter...   
**Anzu:** Will I?   
**Nadako:** *nods* probably..then again...*shrugs*   
**Tea:** Will I?   
**Nadako:** *looks between the two* ...EEEP! TEA?! -BONK BONK BONK-   
**Tea:** x.x   
**Anzu:** O.O ano...   
**Bakura:** *comes running in* YOU MADE ME STUPID!!!   
**Nadako:** *looks innocent* did I? *innocent blink*   
**Mika:** WATCH OUT! Its the Innocence-ness ability of Hikaris!! *runs screaming*   
**Bakura:** non-sense! Thats only from that fake book!   
**Nadako:** *looks at Bakrua with innocent eyes*   
**Bakura:** '_'...O.O can't resist...must crash into walls! -CRASH- =.=....-CRASH- +_+   
**Nadako:** *evil snicker*

**Palace of Disclaimers:**

**Bakura:** Where am I?   
**Disclaimer 1:** You have been sent here to the Palace of Discailmers *heavenly music*...er..oops wrong tape *switches tape*.....Palace of Disclaimers *a scream*...Anyways. You have been sent here to the Palace of Disclaimers *screams* by Nadako.   
**Bakura:** O.O I'm getting outa here. *walks towards door and slams into it*   
**Disclaimer 2:** you cant! This is your Subconcious! Now. Read the disclaimer!   
**Bakura:** *read read* Nadako-mika does not own Yugioh. *looks up* now if you'll excuse me I'd like to get out of this "Palace of Disclaimers" *screams*.   
**Disclaimer 1:** Very well...*tries to open the door* er...^^;   
**Bakura:** What's wrong?   
**Disclaimer 3:** *comes running to Disclaimer 2* Here...*hands Disclaimer 2 a note*   
**Disclaimer 2:** O.O   
**Bakura and Disclaimer 1:** What?   
**Disclaimer 2:** Nadako has decided to keep Bakura here until needed...*screams and runs away*   
**Bakura:** *grumbles*

----------------------------------

((Unknown Voice))   
_Last time on Bakura's Annoyed:_

*Bakura's reading the 'Big Blue Book of Anger Management'* "WHAT? Us YAMIS, are WEAK!?   
*screen switches to book page and zooms in*

_Yami's are weaker than Hikaris. Have you ever noticed that your Hikari is always begging you with his innocent eyes? And you have no power to object to the favor? That is their secret weapon: Innocenceness-ness! They can get almost ANYTHING they want out of you by using that secret technique. And they have another ability. Have you ever noticed that when YOU want something out of THEM, they can always object to the matter, even though you're making death threats to them?_

*Scene changes to a very pissed off Bakura and a ringing phone*   
((Ryou's Voice))   
_Moshi Moshi! You've reached the Bakura residence. We're either not home right now or I (Ryou) am not home and my yami, Bakura, refuses to answer the damned phone because he's mad at a freaking, stupid, useless book he stole from a marketplace. Please leave a message after the tone!-_

"PLEEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!??"   
"I already said- NO!"

_"...CAN I PLEEEAASE HOLD A PARTY?????? YOU CAN INVITE A FRIEND OVER! PLEEAASE???"_   
"Alright alright! Yeesh! Just stop yelling!"

*Scene changes again, to Bakura flipping through the book*   
"I wonder if there's advice on what to do if my hikari is hosting a damned party and inviting his damned friends..." 

*Zooms in onto book* _Here is what you, the yami, does when he, the hikari, is hosting a party:   
1) You invite another psychotic yami over too and cause mayhem...just remember not to bother the hikaris...for reasons why turn to Lesson 2: Listen To Your Hikari.   
  
2) You can do absolutely nothing. All you can do is lock yourself in a small room and rock slowly back and forth muttering (this happens when you don't invite a friend over..see first option)_

----------------------------------

**Nadako:** Eh...right...Who hired that thing? *looks around*   
**Mika:** *walks in and sees Unknown Voice* Hey! He finally arrived!   
**Nadako:** He? how do you know its a HE? And you hired 'him'?   
**Mika:** *nods* Got a problem?   
**Nadako:** Yes...*innocent look* PLEASE? Can you get rid of him...PWEEZE??? *puppy eyes*   
**Mika:** *eyes twitch* alright....Damned ur hikari powers..*shakes head*   
**Bakura:** *banging on Palace of Disclamiers [screams] door* I WANT OUT!   
**Nadako:** *waves off* I'll let you out when its time...-.-

  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 2: Smashing into Doors   
By: Nadako-mika

  
  
  
  
  


"So? What did he say?" Yuugi asked, blinking innocently. He walked back from the phone booth towards the gameshop.

"He said yes!" Ryou answered enthusiastically.

"That's great! But... Why did you have to use the phonebooth? You could have just used the phone in the shop." Yuugi said, opening the door.

"Well," Ryou said, "Bakura would freak if he knew I was here with you."

"Ah...I see."

"Of course you do, your not blind!" Ryou said with a stupid smile.

Yuugi blinked, "-.- That's not what I meant..." He opened the door to the shop and looked around for his yami. "Guess he isn't home at the moment. Why don't we sit down and plan out the party?" he suggested.

"That's a great idea! Do you have any snacks around here?"

Yuugi's smile brightened even more. "We sure do! The trouble is... we just have to find them ^^U"

"Find them? What do you mean?"

"Well..." the tri-color haired boy started, "Yami always seems to hide them. Don't know why though." he said with an innocent smile. He took his white-haired friend by the arms, "Let's look in his room first!"

----------------------

The door to the Ishtar's residence opened up, and a hollering Marik came stumbling in. Malik walked in behind him, holding up the Sennen Rod, his eyes threatening to spill with tears. He moved the Rod to the left. Marik was suddenly pulled in the same direction, his body smashing upon the wall. He gave a strangled shriek and mumbled as he slid towards the ground.

"I told you not to hurt that kitty!" Malik shouted at this yami.

Marik sat up and rubbed his head. "Eh...it was only a cat! It's not like it wouldn't die later on any-"

"What did you say?! ONLY a CAT?!" Malik stomped his way towards Marik in a fit of rage.

The yami backed up considerably, trying to escape his frustrated hikari. He had 'accidently' ran over a cat on the road while driving home. After that he had his hikari yelling at him for killing the thing. Once they had gotten out of the vehicle, Malik had taken out the Sennen Rod and used it on him. It was TORTURE! "Um..Not just a cat! No never! It was a pretty cat! Very pretty....it deserved to live..." he stammered. (Nadako: ^o^ The power of us Hikaris! Great neh? -- Mika: ¬.¬)

"Well you should have said that ealier!" Malik responded, still mad, "You should have realized that when I was telling you to STOP the car. No..Instead you grinned and went FASTER!"

"Uh...I'm sorry?"

"Sorry? SORRY?! You killed a CAT! Don't you know cats are sacred in Egypt?" Malik went on, ranting about how cats were worshipped and how helpful they were in his native country. "If any animal should be killed, it should be a BUNNY! Those evil evil beings. They eat your flowers on purpose I tell you! ON PURPOSE!"

"Dogs should be killed too!"

Malik blinked and looked at Marik. "No! Dogs are cute and cuddly! They are so kind, helpful, and nice!"

"NICE?!" Marik interupted. "You call being mauled by a DOG...NICE?!" He shuddered at the memory.

"Marik, that was because you angered it! Who wouldn't attack if it's tail was being tugged on, and it was being pelted by rather large stones?"

The insane yami just mumbled and walked towards the phone in the kitchen. Maybe some one had left a message. He'd rather listen to the person talk then his hikari yabbering on about cats and dogs. 'PLEASE! Please some one leave a message!!!' He sighed in relief when he saw a blinking red light on the machine. He quickly pushed a button on the thing and heard Bakura's voice.

_"Marik get down here by six tonight! Ryou's gonna be hosting a party. You and I are going to be torturing some people...*whispers* hehe...that damned pharaoh will never know what hit him...or his hikari *grins evilly*. Bring your hikari if you want...the more the merrier ^^...oy...can't believe I said that...¬¬"_

So...Bakura's little Ryou was going to host a party. This would be interesting. As he walked back to his rambling hikari, evil thoughts crossed his mind. Who was he going to torture there? And how? Bakura had mentioned something about the Pharoah and his hikari. Maybe they could distract Yuugi while they tie Yami up and hang him somewhere. Maybe they could find out Yami's weakness and use it against him! Ah...so many ideas, which one to choose?

A voice cut through his thoughts, "MARIK! HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD A WORD I'VE SAID?!"

*blink* "Huh?"

"I said..." Malik was cut short as his coat was thrown at him. "Hey! What gives?"

"We're going out."

"Where to?"

"The Tomb Robber invited us over. He says his hikari is hosting a little party," Marik said, grabbing the keys.

"Really? Who's all going?"

*shrugs* "He just said we'll be torturing people. Doesn't matter to me. Torture is fun!" Marik grinned psychotically before pushing his hikari out the door and into the car.

----------------------

_Ding Dong_

Bakura fumbled down the stairs, muttering inaudible words, "Damned that Nadako-chan...I swear, If I EVER get sent back to that Disclaimers place I'll TEAR IT DOWN!"

*cough* I said...INAUDIBLE.

"*waves off* yeah yeah..."

**Nadako:** ¬¬ Next time you tear it down the payments doubled! You already have to pay the damage bills this time.

_Ding Dong_

"Gah..better answer the friggin door." Baka-san, "HEY!"...*glare* BAKA-SAN walked towards the door, only to trip on the welcome mat. He smashed, face first, into it. Keys could be heard unlocking the door from the outside. The door was swung open, and threw a dazed Bakura, still behind the door, against the wall. "Gah...."

Ryou stepped into the house. "BAKURA! I'm home!" he said in a sing song voice. He blinked when he heard no answer. Thinking his yami had gone out for a while, Ryou turned back to close the door. He shrieked as he saw Bakura smooshed up against the wall. (Nadako: O__o...eh...)

"Bakura? Bakura are you alright?!" he said frantically. He harshly shook him. "BAKURA! Speak to me! PLEASE, DON'T DIE ON ME!" he yelled as he broke out into streaming tears.

"@_@...I'm fine Ryou...I don't think I'm going to die. My nose just hurts..."

Ryou's tears immediately stopped flowing. "Oh, alright then." He got up and left the room. "Get up quickly. We have to get everything ready for the party."

"Aye....+_+" He slid further down onto the floor.

Once again...the doorbell rang.

"Bakura-san, can you please get the door? It's probably Yuugi and Yami."

"*brow twitches* Yami? That sad excuse for a Pharaoh?!"

Ryou closed the fridge door and turned to Bakura. "Who else can you find with the name Yami?"

((Outside the kitchen window))   
  
"HEY! YAMI! Wait up!"   
*'Yami' turns around* "Hurry up Grai! We're going to be late!" *runs off with buddy*   
  
((Back in the kitchen))

Two pairs of chocolate brown eyes blink rapidly.

"Do you want me to answer your question hikari?" Bakura asked stupidly.

"Eh..no..."

Bakura went to answer the door again. And again, he tripped over the door mat and smashed, face first, into the wooden door. Before he completely slid to the floor, he grabbed the door knob and opened the door slightly. Remembering that it was Yami at the door, he quickly got up, not wanting to be humiliated. Bakura opened the door to see the Pharaoh and his hikari. He rubbed his forehead slightly.

"Bakura...What happened to your head?" Yuugi asked.

*grumble grumble* "None of your business..." Bakura answered coldly before running off to find something.

As Yami and Yuugi were hanging up their coats and taking off their shoes, Bakura came running back with duct tape in his hands. He pushed the two guests aside and proceeds to tape the door mat down. He grumbled inaudible curses as he did so.

"God damned, son of a... This freaking thing should be in hell! If you EVER trip me again..." ¬¬ again..I said INAUDIBLE!.

Two pairs of rather amused eyes blinked as they watched the Spirit of the Sennen Ring wrestle with a door mat. They watched for about ten minutes, before Yami finally had enough of the foolishness and decided to ask Bakura about this unsual behavior.

"Bakura...What exactly are you doing?"

The tomb robber's constant grumbling instantly stopped and he froze. He turned around to face a confused Yami, his brows twitching constantly. "What do you THINK I'm doing? You've been standing there for ten minutes! You should know!" he hollered before turning his attention back to the 'harmless' door mat.

Ryou's head popped in- "Oh mi gosh! Ryou's headless...er...bodyless!" Yuugi cried out.

**Nadako:** ....-.-' Dumbed Yuugi...¬¬

"My Aibou is NOT Dumb! *glare*"

**Nadako:** ¬¬ How do you explain 'Oh mi gosh! Ryou's headless'?

*Yami blinks*

*clears throat* Ryou's head popped in *covers Yuugi's mouth*... to see what was going on. He walked up to the pair watching the struggling Bakura. "*blink* What's he doing?"

"Taping the mat down." Yuugi answered.

"Why?"

"Dunno..."

"Why is he having that much trouble?"

"*shrugs* He thinks it's alive?"

At this point, Bakura falls over backwards. The other three boys bend over to view the work Bakura did. The mat was completely taped down on all four sides...though, not so neatly. Bits of duct tape was sticking out in loops. Bakura had taped the thing down in such a manner, that it was hardly visible. There was just a mass of duct tape before you.

Ryou blinked and looked down at his yami. His fingers ran across a long cut on Bakura's forehead. "Baku-san..What happened?"

Bakura's eyes twitched. "Ran into the door..." he mumbled.

----------------------

**Nadako:** It's hard to switch from Serious Angst...to Funny Humor...¬¬ This story probably sucks...   
**Malik:** No it doesn't...   
**Nadako:** Yes it does and you know it!   
**Marik:** She's right hikari...don't deny the truth.   
**Nadako:** *twitch* Did you just insult my story?   
**Marik:** *blink* huh?   
**Nadako:** You said my story sucks!   
**Marik:** *looks around* Did no such thing!   
**Nadako:** *twitch twitch*...Oh...GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!   
**Malik:** O.O Uh oh...   
**Marik:** Runs out the door.   
****Everyone watches out the kitchen window**   
**Marik Jumps off a near by bridge**   
Nadako:** ¬¬ Served him right!   
**Mikalai:** *walks in and sees Nako-chan* AHHH! *runs* WATCH OUT SHE'S IN A MUDEROUS MOOD! *hides in closet shuddering*   
**Malik:** *looks at Nadako* Hey! How'd you get my Sennen Rod?   
**Nadako:** *takes out dagger component*...*twitches angerly*   
**Malik:** O.O *runs screaming bloody murder*

Ok. To thank you reviewers. I got six reviews for this, but because ff.net was being updated, four of the six was deleted =.= If you are one of those people that got their reviews deleted please email me or review and tell me so. I'll thank you in the next chappy! (The only person out of the four that I remember reviewing is Silverwinter):

**Silverwinter-** Gomen Si-chan! I can't remember what you wrote =.= Thanks for reviewing though!   
**firedraygon97-** ^o^ I can tell you like bakura guides... You had a few on your fav. list.   
**Misura-** XD I'm glad you liked my story. Eh-he..I thought Marik's answering machine was abit..*cuckoo*. I loved the Big Blue Book of Anger Management too! ^.^


	3. So the Guests Arrive & Bakura's Hurt Aga...

**Nadako:** This is going to be somewhat of an insane chapter...   
**Yuugi:** Why?   
**Nadako:** Because I'm close to having an emotional breakdown *twitches angerly*   
**Yuugi:** Why?   
**Nadako:** Because...   
**Yuugi:** Why?   
**Nadako:** I don't want to talk about it...   
**Yuugi:** Why?   
**Nadako:** ...   
**Yuugi:** Why?   
**Nadako: -THONK-** *hits Yuugi with mallet*   
**Yuugi:** Whywhywhywhywhy?!#@ *short circuits* *goes into flames*   
**Nadako:** O___O *grabs fire extinguisher*........*sees wires protuding from Yuugi* ...This Charactron is Property of Kaiba Corp. HEY! Kaiba gave me a phony! *grabs mallet and heads off for Seto*

**Diclaimers:   
Seto:** *cowers* Please don't hurt me...   
**Nadako:** *points mallet threatingly at him* Then read the disclaimers!   
**Seto:** Nadako-sama does not own Yugioh! We all wish she did however!   
**Nadako:** *turns to leave*   
**Seto:** Bitc- **-THONK-** *hit with mallet*   
**Nadako:** *grumble grumble*

  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 3: So the Guests Arrive & Bakura's Hurt Again...and Again   
By: Nadako-Mika

  
  
  


The Bakura residence was bustling with activity. Ryou, Yuugi, and Yami were running around trying to set up a party. They were setting drinks, food, and decoration about. You'd think it was for a birthday party. It was just a sleepover...right? Yami and Yuugi had tried to convince Ryou that the place didn't need any decorations, and that it wasn't necessary to set the food in an orderly manner. But the white haired teen wouldn't hear of it. He said he wanted his first party to be great. Bakura was surprised to hear that this was Ryou's FIRST party to be hosted.

"Pharaoh...The vase isn't on the center of the table," Bakura complained.

Yami turned around in annoyance. "If it's bothering you so much TOMB ROBBER, then move it yourself," he huffed.

"I am currently unable to do such a thing," Bakura answered arrogantly, while applying an ice pack to his forehead.

"It's only a small cut,"

"Yes but it hurts like Seven Hells!" Bakura yelled, "Not to mention a bruise formed right after..."

"Aww...Poor Bakura has a little bump," Yami mocked.

"You call this a LITTLE bump?!" Bakura removed the ice pack to reveal a rather large lump on his head. He had hit his head quite hard... Yami instantly stopped the mockery. Feeling satisfied, Bakura huffed and layed back on the couch. "Now please move the vase to the center."

"No. It's already in the center!"

"What do you mean in the center?" Bakura started, "It's 1.3 cm off from the middle!"

"Ooooh...1.3 centimeters! That's a long distance!" Yami stated in a sarcastic tone.

At that very moment Ryou shuffled in carrying a box containing a game system and its games. He instantly spotted the two rivals glaring daggers at each other. Thinking he could do nothing to stop the match, he walked on. But stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted something out of place.

"Yami?" he called out.

The former pharaoh blinked and looked at the hikari in confusion. He smacked his head when he realised he had lost the staring match. Bakura immidiately started cheering. "What is it Ryou?" Yami asked, disappointment filled his voice.

"Do you think you could move that flower vase next to you? It's 1.3 centimeters off the the side. Thanks!" Ryou said as he sped off into the bedrooms.

Yami just stared dumbly at Ryou's retreating form. Bakura snickered next to him. Grumbling slightly, Yami moved the vase a little to the left.

"Too far. Move it back about forty millimeters." Bakura immediately said.

As soon as Yami moved the object Bakura complained once more, "Nope, still about twenty millimeters away......... Now your too far to the-" 

There was a loud crash as shards of shattered clay fell to the ground. Bakura fell out of the couch, clutching his head and screaming bloody murder. Yami stood up proudly, holding up the broken vase he had used to hit his foe. Yuugi and Ryou immediately rushed into the room. Ryou ran quickly to aid his yami, while Yuugi looked disapprovingly at Yami.

---------------------------

Malik and his yami were walking towards Ryou's when they suddenly heard a loud crash. They dismissed it, thinking a cat had probably knocked over some garbage can. They continued walking on. Soon they reached the door of the Bakura residence. Marik rung the door bell.

"_Ow! You God damned son of a-_" Someone ranted on angerly inside. A snicker was heard from another person.

"_Bakura! Why don't you go answer the door, I'll clean up the mess,_" A third person had said.

The two blonds waited outside patiently, hearing footsteps approaching the door. They wondered what had happened to Bakura.

The door swung open suddenly and with such force that it knocked Bakura over. He fell back a little, quickly regaining his stance. He cursed heavily as he wiped the little blood from his wounded head.

"Uh... Hi Bakura..." Mariku said slowly.

"What Happened to your head?" Malik asked. He eyed the large gash that was previously a tiny cut.

"..stupid door...stupid pharaoh...STUPID WORLD!" Bakura screamed as he flailed his arms about. He stopped as soon as his arm was flung against the wall. "OW!" It just wasn't his day...

Malik and Marik were lead into the living room where they saw Ryou sweeping up what was left of the vase. As soon as Yami saw Bakura, he broke out into another fit of giggles. Bakura just glared. The two blonds stared in confusion, turning their attention back and forth between the laughing pharaoh and the cursing tomb robber.

Bakura felt a light tap on his shoulder and turned around to find his hikari. In Ryou's hands he held a bottle and a wad of cotton. He poured some of the liquid out and proceeded to apply it onto his yami's cut, but Bakura quickly backed away.

"What is that?" he asked cautiously.

"It's only rubbing alcohol," Ryou answered.

"Is it going to hurt?"

"Oh it's not that bad! It'll clean your cut out. Now come here," Ryou advanced on his cowering yami (Nadako: O.O Now that's surprising...; Mika: What? The cowering or advancing?; Nadako: Both...).

Yami and Mariku fixed their eyes on the scene. They guessed that Bakura had never put on rubbing alcohol, and they wanted to see his reaction.

"............AAAAHHHHHHH!" Birds were startled and flew away as the scream filled the street.

Ryou had quickly dabbed the liquid on the cut and backed away quickly. He knew that his yami would have this reaction. While the guests watched Bakura screaming in 'pain', Ryou walked casually to the bathroom to put the stuff away. When he got back, Bakura was crouched, sobbing in the corner of the room.

"Wimp..." Malik said before walking out of the room.

Marik and Yami quickly strided out the house and shut the door behind them... They let out their laughter.

---------------------------

It was now 6:45 pm and only one guest has arrived... Katsuya, Jounouchi was lazing back on the couch flipping through the television channels with Yami.

He stopped at a particular channel, "Hey Yami, how about the news?" he asked.

"No." was the pharaoh's response.

"Baseball?"

"No."

"Olympics?"

"No."

"Cartoons?"

"No."

"Football, Soccer, any other sport?!"

"No!"

Jounouchi fell forward. "What?! No Football? What is with you Yami?!"

"Nothing!"

Jounouchi screamed, "What do you mean nothing?! Never in my life have I heard a guy answer NO to Football!"

"I said...No green peppers! Why do you constantly ask the question when I've already answered no?!"

Jou turned to face his friend. '_What the heck is he talking about?_'

"Yes, I'd like it to be delievered as soon as possible. *nod nod*...NO! NO GREEN PEPPERS! *twitch*" Yami pressed the pretty little green button on his new cell phone and put it into his back pocket. He turned to his friend, "Oh sorry Jou. Did you say something?"

"~~...I asked what you wanted to watch on T.V..."

"Oh. Is there a football game on?"

--------------

_Ding Dong_

"Bakura! Get the door!"

"Again?!"

"Yes! Thanks Baku-san!"

"*twitch twitch* Why am I always stuck answering the door..." Bakura mumbled as he staggered towards the door. He felt sleepy from the pain killers that Ryou had given him. In his dazed state he turned the doorknob. As he stepped closer towards the door, to gain more balance, he tripped over the mass of duct tape. With his momentum, the door was flung open and he fell towards the concrete ground. " **-THUMP-** Uuuggh... that hurt...@.@"

Anzu stared down at the twitching body before her. She was about to help the poor guy up, but caught glimpse of his watch. "Oh no! The necklace will be sold in fifteen minutes! Sorry Bakura. I'd love to help you up and make sure you get back safely into the house, because theres a drunk bum heading your way...but I have to catch the shopping channel." she said and ran into the house. She quickly tore the remote from Jou's hands and pushed the teen off the couch. "My turn to watch!" she yelled aggressively. The girl stared intently at the screen.

Yami ignored the events and dialed another number on his cell. Ryou wanted him to order some food for the party. He waited for someone to answer on the other end. "...Hi, I'd like to place an order...Uh..I'd like some of your- HEY!" his phone was taken away by Anzu.

"Sorry Yami, but I need the phone NOW!" she quickly dialed a number written across the television screen. "...Hi, I'm watching your show right now and I'd like to know if that necklace is still available...What!? Your supplies ran out?! It says right on the screen that there are fifty of them left!.... No I am not BLIND!... Look...The screen says you now have forty-five of them. That means that they are still being sold!.... I don't give a damn! I DEMAND to be sold one of those necklaces!..... No...Yes...no no.... *twitch* Let me talk to your manager.... What?! You're the freaking manager?! ARGH!" she pushed the pretty green button and hung up on the person.

**Outside with Bakura**

Bakura groaned slightly as he held his nose to stop the blood flow. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the burning pain on his face. He sat cross-legged on the spt he fell and prepared to sit there until the pain went away. "I think that door has something against me..." Bakura felt a someone shake his shoulders lightly and turned around. A look of annoyance masked his pained face.

"Hey... You've gots any spare change for an ooold man likes me?" a drunkard asked in a cracked voice.

Bakura held his nose tighter as the man ventured closer. "GOD YOU STINK!" He screamed aloud.

The stranger leaned against a light post for support. "Dooo I? *sniff sniff* Maybe itz the alcohol...Daarn thing tastes soo goood... Eh-heeeeheeheee!" he laughed strangely.

Bakura was beginning to feel uncomfortable around the guy. What was a drunk man doing out this early? It was only quarter to seven. He tried to stand up to head back in, but agonizing pain shot through his legs. "Ow! Gah..."

"Oh hey! Let me helps...you with that..." the man staggered unsteadily towards the teen and proceeded to pull him up. 

Upon seeing the man's filthy hands Bakura instantly tensed and ran into the house. He quickly slammed the door and secured the locks. He slid down upon the mass of duct tape and started inhaling and exhaling deeply. He had a problem with bad hygiene. He had gotten the fear from Ryou, since his hikari was a neat freak. He didn't know what kinds of bacteria were on that man's hands, or where he had put them... When Bakura had calmed down slightly, he walked cautiously to the kitchen. He went to get a glass of water when he was startled by Marik. When Marik tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped towards the ceiling.

"Whoa... a little tense there Bakura?" Marik asked, slightly startled himself by Bakura's reactions.

"Just a little?!" Malik clung onto Marik for his dear life. Bakura had scared him when he jumped.

"No no...not tense..." Bakura answered taking a large gulp of water.

"Paranoid?"

"...*nods*..."

"Why are you paranoid?"

"Who wouldn't be if they were just about to be groped by a dirty filthy drunked bum on the streets?!" Bakura thrashed about. He instantly calmed down when he saw the scared expression of his hikari. "Uh..."

"A-Are you feeling okay, Bakura?" Ryou asked cautiously.

"Fine...it's just that stupid drunkard...scared the hell out of me..¬¬"

-------------------------------------

**Nadako:** Did I forget any guests?   
**Ryou:** I think you forgot Kaiba...   
**Nadako:** *checks character list* Oh yes... I did forget him...-.- Gonna have to add him on next chapter. Don't worry Kaiba fans... he will be showing in the next chapter...though...what I'm going to do to him is still a mystery...*evil grin*   
**Mikalai:** Where did you get the bum idea?   
**Nadako:** I have no clue...   
**Mikalai:** and where did you get that laugh of his? it was hilarious! Eh-heeeeehheee!   
**Nadako:** Gee..I wonder where... *rolls eyes*   
**Mikalai:** EH-HEEEHEEEHEEHEE- huh?   
**Nadako:** -.- anyways. I want to thank _Poe Tocks!_ and _Si-chan_ (silverwinter) for being my Beta-readers! well...for the first half of the chapter anyways...I just finished up now O_o

**Thanks to those who reviewed!::   
  
Mistress of Ice:** ...uh...hope you stop laughing? O_____o   
**Misura:** NO no...Ryou is not evil! He's just a hikari, and hikari's have "special" powers. Bakura's still evil, but the evilness is getting to his health XD. I feel sorry for the kitty too =( I have a kitten of my own...and I'd have hated it to be squashed... But I needed something for the two Ishtars to talk about ^^;   
**Saturn Imp:** neh? this funny? Really?! Honto Neh?! *rejoice* YAY! Its funny...eh...*shuts up*


	4. FOOD EQUATIONS! Keep the liquor away!

**Nadako:** Whee! I'm Back!   
**Seto:** You were away?   
**Nadako:** For a bit...   
**Seto:** *blink*   
**Nadako:** XD Gomen-nasai _sdrive_! I just started nineth grade this year, and the teachers are tougher than ever... ¬¬ I need to work hard so I can pass the provincals this year and head towards High School! XD   
**Seto:** Lame excuse...   
**Nadako: -BONK-** *holds up meat mallet*   
**Seto:** +.+   
**Mikalai:** You know hikari... You'll lose more casts that way...   
**Nadako:** ^^ I know...it's just so fun to torture them though!   
**Mikalai:** *shakes head* =_=

**Disclaimers:**   
**Bakura:** *hides* No way in hell are you going to stuff me at that palace again!   
**Malik:** *walks behind Bakura*.....*kicks him*   
**Bakura:** *flies off* O_O   
**Malik:** XD   
  
**Bakura: -THUMP-**...@.@ Where am I?   
**Disclaimer1:** *blink* Oh why, it's nice to see you again Bakura-san!   
**Bakura:** O.O *runs* NOOOO! *crashes into locked door*... Nadako does not own Yugioh... *door opens* =.= *runs out*

  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 4: FOOD EQUATIONS! Keep the liquor away!   
By: Nadako-Mika

  
  
  


Bakura huddled in a corner of the living room, obviously frightened. He jumped at every noise. When the crowd cheered in the football game on television, he fell onto the ground face first, covering his head as if expecting an earthquake or hail storm. When Anzu yelled furiously because she couldn't get any shopping done online, he squealed like a mouse and scampered up the wall. He was...paranoid...

"I'm okay...I'm okay..." he kept repeating to himself, "I'm not frightened, the great tomb robber is never frightened..NEVER! MWUAHAHA-" ¬¬ You're suppose to be frightened right now... "Oh..."

He was headed towards the kitchen to get a drink when the door bell suddenly rang through out the house. Bakura, still paranoid, bolted up the stairs from the sudden noise. He ran into his Ryou's room and locked himself in his hikari's closet. He panted as his eyes darted around the darkness.

"*laughs uneasily* Nothing can get me now...NOTHING!"

Bakura screamed girlishly as the doors of the closet were flung open. Mariku covered his ears from the horrible noise.

"..AHHHHH~HHH! *gasp gasp* AAHHHH- *muffled*"

"GEEZE Tomb Robber! You thinking of becoming a fire alarm or something?" Marik yelled as he muffled Bakura's cries.

"*pant pant*...*pant*...Oh its only you...*sighs*"

"*nod nod* I came up here when I saw you bolt up the stairs as the bell rang," Marik explained, "What's up with you? First you duck for cover as the television cheers. Then you squeak and ran into the wall when Anzu yelled out. And now...you're hiding in a closet?"

Bakura grumbled.

"I think you need to see a psychiatrist..." he noted the murderous look on the other's face, "..Or..maybe you should read a book on how to...eh.. 'Get Better'."

The tomb robber thought for a moment. Psychiatrist? Should he go see one? Nah...the person would just be killed in a matter of seconds. Anger problem...he had an anger problem, and would kill anyone that pissed him off. An idea struck Bakura (surprisingly).

"The Big Blue Book Of Anger Management!" He called out happily.

Marik blinked and stared dumbly. "What are...you talking about?"

Bakura darted out the room, almost skipping...happily. He came back in the same manner and held in his hands the oh so brilliant book. He leaned in on Marik. "PsSt...can you keep a secret?" he whispered suspicously.

Marik edged away slightly. Maybe Bakura's gone psychotic again. "Uh..Yeah, I guess so," he answered cautiously. The Egyptian boy shuddered as he saw Bakura grin widely. This didn't happen any day of the week...

"Great!" Bakura exclaimed. He thrust the heavy book into Marik's hands. "This...might help!"

"Help...what?"

"Everything!" Bakura's smile brightened, "Just name a problem and look it up in the table of contents or index!"

Marik open the book and landed on the page index. He searched for his 'problem', then shuffled through the pages trying to find the chapter. He suddenly stopped and seemed to be reading. Bakura slowly peered over the yami's shoulder.

_Lesson 7: Simple Equations_

Though this lesson may seem boring, it is actually quite important...if you want to survive. *scary music*....*cough* Alright, anyways.... Through out this lesson we will be looking at hikari+food combinations. It is important to know the reactions of the foods eaten by a hikari, as it may be deadly...or just annoying. The following chart gives a brief outline of common reactions from everday foods:

Food............................Reactions   
Broccoli......................Healthy Hikari   
Carrots.......................Healthy Hikari   
Celery........................Healthy Hikari   
Anything Baked................Happy Hikari   
Take-out......................No Effect   
Caffiene......................Long Night Ahead of You   
Hard Candy...................Headache (yours, not your hikari's)   
Gum..........................Loud Popping noises   
Liquor.......................Good Luck....You'll need it

"*blink* Marik...?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly were you looking for?"

"I was trying to find a cure for a sugar crazed Malik..." Marik explained.

_As you can see from the chart, anything containing sugar or alcohol results in a bad reaction. And anything containing wel...nothing but natural foods, results in a peaceful day. Now, why don't we try out some of equations with this table? Just answer the questions to the best of your ability. The answers are on the next page._

1. Hikari + Broccoli (don't cheat! The answers are in the chart dimwitt!)

"Hikari eating Broccoli makes a Healthy Hikari!" the two yamis said in unison.

_Very good! Now for the second question.   
2. Hikari + Take-Out_

"Oh Gee... That's a tough one..." Marik said. He earned a smack in the head by Bakura.

"You Dumbass! The answers are in the chart! Hikari eating Take-Out has NO EFFECT!" Bakura said.

_Alright. This seems easy doesn't it? Well lets take it to the next level then. Each question will be of a combination of foods. And you have to predict, to the best of your abilitly, what may happen. This is going to be a multiple-choice quiz, so get out writing material. Do you understand? Yes? No? Yes? Good. Let's begin:_

1. Hikari + Caffiene + Hard Candy=   
(a) You sleeping through the night and ignoring your huge headache   
(b) Banging your head against the wall throughout the night   
(c) No Effect

2. Hikari + Baked Goods + Carrots=   
(a) Dead Hikari   
(b) Carrot Cake and Happy Hikari   
(c) No Effect

3. Hikari + Gum + Hard Candy=   
(a) Headache from Chewing sound and Candy effects   
(b) Choking Hikari   
(c) No Effect

4. Hikari + Liquor + Hard Candy + Caffiene=   
(a) PARTY!   
(b) You talking to yourself   
(c) No Effect

"You got all the answers down?" Bakura asked his companion.

"*nod nod* You can flip the page now."

_Alright! You have finished the little quiz. Your score will determine if you will live long enough to see the next sun or not. The answers are as follows:_

1. answer: (b)   
If you chose (a)...You're lucky to be able to sleep through the noise...   
  
2. answer: (b)   
If you chose the other answers...you're a complete idiot!   
  
3. answer: (b)   
For those of you who chose (a)...you're on the right track, but think about how a hikari is suppose to chew gum with candy in his mouth. he'd choke on the gum while trying to swallow the candy!   
  
4. answer: (b)   
You'd become insane with all the commotion!

"What did you get?" Marik asked Bakura.

"Three out of four... you?"

"One out of four."

_Test Scores:   
1 out of 4: You need help...You need to hide the chocolate and sugar from your hikari!   
2 out of 4: *shakes head* You try to stop your hikari...but just hiding the candy won't help...you have to FORCEFULLY stop him!   
3 out of 4: You're alright. You definitely have some control over your hikari.   
4 out of 4: WHOO! You are in complete control of your hikari's diet! Congrats! You will die soon for your hikari is getting tired of your rules. He'll use his Hikari Powers on you VERY soon! Give me a call when you're about to die!_

That ends our lesson for today!

"*blink* That was strange... Where did you get this book anyways?"

"Eh..I stole it from the market."

"^^;; Wait 'til I tell Yami about this book! I'm sure he'd like to use it! He always said something about his hikari being...well..hyper I think or was it drunk?"

Bakura waved his arms around furiously, "NO NO NO! You must NOT tell anyone else about this book! It can...It can be..our little secret..." He said.

Marik blinked in confusion, "Why don't you want others to know?"

"Do you know how BAD it would look if you were caught reading a book on ANGER MANAGEMENT?!"

"Yeah...I guess..."

*sniff sniff*

"Bakura?..."

*sniff sniff*

"What...are you doing?"

*sniff sniff* " I smell food.... I smell...PEPPERONI PIZZA!!! WHOO HOO!" he dashed down the stairs and almost crashed into his hikari, who just paid the delivery boy for the pizza. "Pizza! GIMME GIMME!"

"Gimme Gimme Never Get. Don't you know your manners yet?" Yami mocked as he opened on of the boxes. He twitched angerly as he saw the pizza. "GAHH! Green Peppers! THOSE EVIL EVIL PEOPLE!" He opened the other boxes and found the exact same thing. "*growl* They did this on purpose! I know they did! They're mocking me...they put red peppers on purpose too!"

A light snickering was heard out the kitchen window. All heads turned towards the direction of the sound. The delivery boy was sitting outside watching the scene. He stopped laughing as he felt eyes glaring into him. "Ah-haha- Huh?....OH shoot!" He dashed off.

Yami immediately bolted out the door. "I'll get you delivery boy! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!!!"

----------------------

When Yami had gotten back from his Delivery Boy Hunt, everything started to settle down. Everyone, except Anzu who was still on the shopping site, was settled down watching a movie. There were occasional shouts of frustration from Anzu. They were watching an old horror movie. It had the usual plot, some demon was ressurected and only a few kids could save the world from it's destruction. They were getting to the suspenseful part; the pretty girl was being stupid and decided to head down to the dark basement, alone, to check out some creepy noise. She was just opening the door at the bottom of the stairs when...

A sudden bang was heard from outside. Not from the movie. Someone was banging against the door to the Bakura's residence. Bakura nearly had a heart attack when the first bang erupted. He was sweating right now and panting heavily trying to calm his heartbeat.

The group, minus Anzu who was still trying to shop online..., headed towards the front entrance. The hikaris were clutching onto their yami's for dear life.

"Ryou..." came Bakura's unusually cracked voice.

"Malik.." Marik called out.

"Could you please loosen on the grip? You're choking us." they said in unison. Both Malik and Ryou opened their eyes and saw that they were clinging onto their yamis' throats. They quickly slid off their backs and looked at them sheepishly.

"@_@ gah..." came Bakura's response.

"=_=..."

Another loud bang was heard and everyone jumped, again minus Anzu who is oblivious to the world around her. This time, the lock on the door snapped and the door was flung open. Everyone held their breath as the waited for the horrible demon to come after them...(too many horror films neh?) They all fell as they saw Kaiba rush in with his trusty suit case.

"What took so long?" Yami asked.

"Business Meeting," he said quickly, "Ryou, do you have a computer I could use? Preferably with an internet connection?"

Ryou nodded, "In the living room. But Anzu's-" Seto walked on, "-using it..."

They all just stood there, as if waiting for something big to happen. They didn't move until Jounouchi walked to the door and closed it. They heard a furious scream and a loud thud come from the living room. The group quickly rushed to the source of the noise and saw that Seto had pushed Anzu off the computer chair and had taken over the computer. He was now busy typing away on the keyboard and designing new projects for the company. Anzu in the meantime, was trying everything possible to get back onto the computer. Nothing she did worked. She even threatened to use make-up on him, but he didn't budge. Kaiba's eyes were fixed on the the computer screen.

Everyone watched, amused at Anzu's many failed attempts to gain control of the computer.

"Ryou?" Yuugi said, tugging on the taller boy's sleeves, "Do you have anything to drink around here?"

Ryou nodded in response. "There's a few drinks in the fridge if you want to help yourself."

Yuugi nodded and scampered off.

A few minutes into Anzu's Failed Attempts At Control, Yami noticed something missing. He looked around the room. "Where's Yuugi?"

"He went to get a drink," Ryou explained.

Yami's eyes widened, "By himself? Do you have any liquor in there?" he asked hurriedly.

Bakura's eyes widened like yamis. He remembered the chart in The Big Blue Book Of Anger Management. "Oh Crap!" he rushed off into the kitchen after Yami's hikari.

Yuugi was sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging his dangling legs childishly. Beside him was an empty bottle of vodka. His grin widened as he saw Yami...though, his grin was rather...strange...

"Oh no...." Yami groaned as he ran off to hide somewhere in the house.

---------------------------------------------

**Nadako:** WHEE! Another chapter finished! Wow...this one was quick! Only took me... 4 hours *tilts head and grins*   
**Yami:** *whimpers*....you actually let Yuugi drink?!   
**Nadako:** *nod nod* afraid so...*pats Yami* Sorry...   
**Yami:** =( Now I have to deal with him at home....*sigh*   
**Nadako:** Would you like to borrow the Big Blue Book of Anger Management? It does wonders!   
**Yami:** *twitches nose* Does it look like I have an anger issue?   
**Nadako:** From that 'Green Peppers' incident...yes.   
**Yami:** *shakes head*   
**Nadako:** *shrugs* Anyways. The next chapter might be a while! I need to think the plot over... And I still have other stories that I need to update ^^;; Review please! Ja!

**Arigatou...**

firedraygon97- Naw...I didn't make Seto come in all fancy... XD o well. Do I really torture Bakura too much?   
**Misura-** Ah-haha...glad you like it. It felt weird to right that vase part... What do you mean Bakura's past darkened the mood? How did it?   
**Mihiko-** Thanx for the review...and no...Bakura would never be stupid...I don't think so anyways...^^   
**labyrinth of chaos-** ^0^ Yes...torturing Bakura is fun... though its not really torture right now. Just some humilation XD   
**sdrive-** ^_^;; Sorry you had to wait. I got side tracked and was busy for a while. I had to update my other stories too ^^;; Hope you don't mind the wait for the next one...   
**Saturn Imp-** Eh-hehe...Bakura Bashing...I didn't want to do that but..eh...*shrugs* I haven't read your story yet, But I'm going to soon. ^__^


	5. Hanging, Liquor, and Online Shopping

**Nadako:** Weh! I'm running out of ideas for this!   
**Bakura:** *huffs* That's not surprising...   
**Nadako:** ;.; *sniffle* I can never finish any of my stories! I've only finished my one shots...how depressing. I'm a bad authoress! *runs off and cries*   
**Bakura:** O.O; Uhn...*calls after Nadako* You'll eventually come up with a plot-line!   
**Nadako:** *cries*   
**Bakura:** Heh-...oh..*frowns* Now who's going to write this chapter?   
**Mikalai:** *pops up* What? Did I hear right? No one's writing this chapter?   
**Bakura:** *nods*...   
**Mikalai:** Eh-hehe...That could only mean one thing...Nako-chan isn't writing! Which means.. I GET TO WRITE! MWUAHAHAHA!   
**Bakura:** *scared*   
**Mikalai:** *cackles* What horror shall I invoke upon the characters?   
**Bakura:** *edges away*

**Disclaimer:   
Mikalai:** I don't own Yuugiou...But one day I shall. Mark my words! One day I SHALL!   
**Lawyer1:** *waves off* Yeah yeah...   
**Lawyer2:** Hm? Did that girl say something?   
**Mikalai:** *twitch*

  
  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 5: Hanging, Liquor, and Online Shopping!   
By: Nadako-Mika   
_*Chapter written by: Mikalai "MWUAHA!"*_

  
  
  


"Yami? Where are you?" Ryou looked high and low for the ex-pharaoh. Yami had run off after seeing the empty bottle of vodka beside his hikari. Everyone was looking for him, trying to coax him to come out.

It turned out that Yuugi hadn't had a sip of vodka. He was merely drinking a glass of water, the bottle of vodka was there before he arrived. And as for the goofy grin? Yuugi was close to bursting out in laughter when he heard that Yami thought he had gotten into the stash of liquor.

"Baka no Pharaoh? There's nothing to worry about!" Bakura called out, obviously irritated at the pharaoh's behavior. A small whimper was heard from the bathroom to Bakura's right. The yami turned swiftly in the direction of the noise and walked towards it.

"Yami?" he called out. Another small whimper was his reply. The tomb robber entered the bathroom and checked underneath the sink for his fellow yami. No luck. Maybe the bathtub!...nope. Bakura twitched as he heard another whimper. The door behind him slowly creaked closed, and he turned around. He nearly jumped out the small bathroom window at what he saw. There, hanging on the door, was the almighty Pharaoh. He hung himself by the collar of his jacket, onto the little hangers nailed onto the bathroom door. He had covered his eyes with his hands, and his lips were quivering.

Bakura blinked and let it all sink in before bursting out into laughter. He hunched over, clutching his aching sides, unable to stop laughing. Tears were springing out of his eyes, and he was kicking into the air. Yami, eyes still behind his hands, peeked through his fingers. He flushed bright crimson when he saw the Tomb Robber. Yami struggled fiercely against the door, trying to unhang himself.

Bakura stopped his heavy laughter for a moment and watched as the Pharaoh tried to get free. In the end, Yami was still stuck on the hanger and sighed in defeat. Bakura quickly went back into his laughing fit. Pointing at the hanging Yami and laughing. He was laughing so hard, that he couldn't get an insult out without rolling around the ground and breaking out into little giggle fits. The former pharaoh glared daggers at his foe.

"Bakura? What's going on in here?" came a voice.

Bakura stopped rolling long enough to catch a glimpse of the blond haired yami. He then started his rolling laughter and kicking.

Mariku edged a bit away from Bakura. "What's so funny?"

"AH-HAHA- Its Ya-hahaha! *cough* It's Yami-HEEEHEEEHEE!" he gave up on the verbal explaination and pointed at the back of the door.

Mariku walked into the room and closed the door a bit. He stumbled and fell into the bathtub, startled to see Yami hanging there, glaring at both of them. He took a second to calm down before taking a good look at Yami. When Yami's ridiculous situation had processed through his mind, he joined Bakura in the mocking laughter. Joining Bakura's oh so famous pointing and rolling, and inaudible remarks about Yami's situation.

There was a loud ripping sound; Bakura and Mariku stopped laughing and stared at Yami. Yami's large crimson eyes widened as he came dropping from the hanger. He hit the floor with a loud thud and groaned in pain.

((At this point, Mikalai is thoroughly twacked by Nadako))   
(--**Mikalai:** +.+ HEY! What's the deal?! --)   
(--**Nadako:** You torture Yami too much! --)   
(--**Mikalai:** And YOU torture Baku-san too much! *glare* --)   
(--**Nadako:** ..Fear me.. --)   
(--**Mikalai:** What...? --)   
(--**Nadako:** FEAR ME! 8(>(--**Mikalai:** Why should I? ¬¬ --)   
(--**Nadako:** I am a hikari! FEAR MY WRATH! --)   
(--**Mikalai:** ...You've got problems hika- *smashes vase over head for no reason* @.@ --)   
(--**Nadako:** ^0^. Eh-hehe. I'm back! No evil *COUGH* yami writing, I've finally gotten a plot line! So I'll be taking it from here! --)   
(--**Mikalai:** *stumbling across the room* =.= --)   
(--**Nadako:** *grins innocently* ^____^ --)

---------------------------------

**_-THUD-_**

"*blink* Ryou? What was that?" Yuugi asked innocently. He tilted his head upwards, and stared blinkingly at the ceiling.

"I'm not quite sure," Ryou answered. He checked under the kitchen sink for Yami. "It could be possible that Bakura and Mariku have found Yami. And that Bakura had accidently stumbled onto Yami and had ridiculed him for his hiding place. Then maybe Mariku had gone to check on Bakura and joined him in mockery. Yami could have then fallen from where ever he was hanging from and hit the ground with such force that we heard it."

Malik and Yuugi just stared and blinked stupidly at the boy.

"T-that's only a guess though! Hehe...heh...," Ryou laughed nervously as he began to head upstairs.

---------------------------------

"Eh... Are you alright?" Mariku asked, peering down at a dazed Yami.

"@_@"

"- -; Guess not..."

The door opened slightly as the hikaris peeked in. Yuugi poked his head through the crack and blinked innocently at the scene before him. Ryou poked his head in too, overtop of Yuugi, and frowned dissapprovingly at Bakura's snickering. Malik was the last to come in, peering over Ryou's snowy hair. He surpressed a laugh as he saw Yami sprawled out on the tiled floor.

"Jeez... What happened to him?" Ryou asked, stepping carefully over Yami's limbs and arriving next to his own yami.

"He tried to...*snicker* He tried to... *falls down laughing*" Bakura fell into his laughing position again. Rolling around and kicking into the air, gasping for breath every once in a while.

Mariku shook his head. "Yami tried to.. *giggle*... Hang... hide... -" he soon joined Bakura in the laughing ritual. "Can't- *laugh* -explain! Look for your- *giggle* -selves," he somehow said. He pointed a shaky finger at the hanger behind the door. There was a torn piece of blue cloth hanging there. The same shade of blue as Yami's coat.

The hikaris only blinked, confusion written clearly on their face.

A slight groan was heard, all activity in the little bathroom came to a full stop. Bakura and Mariku scrambled to their feet and peered down at Yami. The other three boys joined in too. All five formed a small circle around Yami, all looking down to see how he was fairing.

"Do you think he's alright?" Yuugi asked.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Mariku asked in response.

"It sounded like he was knocked to the ground from downstairs."

"No.. He's alright, just a little fall."

"You sure?"

"Shush! He's waking up!" Ryou whispered harshly.

All five pairs of eyes stared down at the moving form of Yami. The former pharaoh's eyes fluttered open, he looked around. He flinched a bit, seeing five pairs of blinking eyes staring down at him; it just wasn't a good way to wake up. The eyes continued their staring, watching his every move. Yami backed away a bit; it felt awkward having so many people staring. The eyes were all large and full, matching Yuugi's.

The owner of rather sharp looking brown eyes reached out with one hand. His eyes looking over Yami like he had never seen such a thing. His hands were headed for Yami's hair. Yami shuddered quickly and shouted, "Alright! JEEZE! I'm not some foriegn object, you know!"

The mysterious moment immediately lifted. Bakura withdrew his hand and narrowed his eyes (so they weren't so large). "Sure.. ruin the moment would you?" he huffed before turning away.

Yami shook his head harshly, "You guys gave me a scare! Acting like you've never seen the likes of me before.. You've all probably been watching one too many science-fiction movies." He reached to rub the back of his neck, but stopped shortly. "Hn?! Hey! My coat's been ripped!" Yami turned around and around, arms trying to reach the back of his collar, where a chunk of fabric had been torn out.

Mariku pulled the piece of cloth from the hanger and dangled it in front of Yami's face. "Are you missing this?" he asked. He then pointed towards the door.

Yami flushed a bright red and snatched the piece of cloth from Mariku. He grumbled inaudible curses.

"I don't get it..." Yuugi said suddenly.

"Your yami there, was hanging on the door trying to hide from you," Bakura informed Yuugi.

"Oh, is that all?" Yuugi waved them all off, "You should see him at home! He always finds a way to hang himself from the closet coat hang-" his explanation was quickly cut off by Yami's hand.

"Eh-heheh.. Don't mind him.. He's uh... he's DRUNK! Yes.. he's drunk!"

Yuugi quickly removed the hand, "Am not! I haven't had a single sip of alcohol. If I did you'd be running like a little sissy!"

"Quiet you...you...insolent- huh?" Yami stared down into Yuugi's watery eyes.

"You.. You were calling me a ...?"

Bakura slapped his forehead. He turned to Mariku. "Oh boy.. another hikari using his skilled powers.. *sigh*.."

Mariku nodded along. "Maybe we should tell Yami about that book of yours..."

"NO!... we'll let the all mighty pharaoh deal with the problem himself... he wouldn't want us lower class people meddling with his problems..."

Yami tried to resist those cute little orbs of Yuugis, but... to no avail, "Ah.. JUST FORGET IT!" he stomped off angerly, dragging his cheering hikari with him.

---------------------------------

"Oh wow.. That looks nice, what do you think?"

"I think it would look great on you! It matches your hair!"

"You think so?"

"Y-up.."

"Maybe I should get it then..."

"Whoa! Wait up! Do you really want to pay... $784.99 for THAT little piece?!"

"Why not?"

"Well.. *whispering* I've seen the exact same thing at this one store and they only sold it for TWENTY dollars."

"*gasp* REALLY?! This place is a rip off!"

"Want to check some other site?"

"Sure.." Anzu answered before typing away an unknown address onto the computer screen.

Yuugi came bounding down the stairs, with a large happy grin on his face. He poked his head inbetween Anzu and Seto's shoulders, startling the two. "Wutcha up ta?" he asked innocently.

"Shopping," Anzu answered. Kaiba only gave a mummble.

"What?! Anzu's not trying to kill Kaiba... And Kaiba's not trying to force Anzu off the computer?... 'Tis a miracle, laddie.." Bakura said strangely as he came down the stairs. "Well, then.. Just exactly what ARE you two doing?"

"Shopping," Kaiba answered this time.

Everyone quickly rushed and surrounded the two people. What?! Kaiba... shopping? Online?.. and with.. ANZU?! Whispering and gossip ensued around the little crowd of people.

"Shush you!.. Hey.. do you think that would go nicely with my pants?" the CEO suddenly asked. He pointed to the screen that was displaying a finely crafted belt.

"I..guess so..." Anzu answered.

Mariku pushed through the few people blocking his view. He stared intently at the screen... then at Seto's pants.. "Hn.. Try leather..."

"What?"

"The belt would look nicer if you had leather pants... not jeans."

"Is blue leather alright?"

"Yes.. It would look alright."

Kaiba did a little cheer (scaring everyone around) and clicked furiously at the 'add to cart' button.

Everyone broke away from the two shoppers, becoming increasingly frightened at Kaiba's behavior. They instead, went to join Jounouchi, who was watching a movie at the moment. It turned out he was watching the same horror movie as before. The same pretty girl was going to open the basement door...again...

"Jou-san?..." Yuugi asked.

"Hn?" came the unenthusiastic reply.

"...Didn't we just watch this movie?"

"Yes.. But I want to watch it again!"

"..."

"It has a good plot! Soo..unpredictable! I mean, who knows what lurks behind that basement door the girl is about to open!"

"^^;;" Everyone fell down at Jounouchi's statement.... Of course they know, they've already watched the movie. They all stuck around to watch anyways. It was becoming suspenseful...again... so they all sat, eyes glued on the screen, waiting for the stupid girl to open the door. She was just walking down the dark stairway, the demon was suppose to pop out any second... and then...

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" came a girlish scream. The sound rang throughout the house.

Everyone jumped at the sound, excluding Seto and Anzu who were now complimenting and critisizing sale items. All heads (except for Anzu and Seto) turned towards the kitchen doorway. Yami ran out screaming, flailing his arms through the air. Yuugi came out shortly, sipping a glass of rum.

Yuugi looked questioningly at the group of friends. "Where did he-?" Everyone pointed in the direction of the basement. "Oh.. thanks..." he was off.

Malik came out shortly, throwing skittles up into the air, then catching them in his mouth. He didn't notice the staring crowd at first. But then as he lowered his head, he came to stare at each of them. He blinked a few times, noting the frightened look on his yami's face. He blinked a few more times... then looked down at the bag of skittles he held in his hands. "Oh..." he said simply, then he flashed an insane smile directing it at Mariku.

"Ah...shoot..." the psychotic yami sighed heavily before bolting off in the direction Yami went, screaming at the same pitch as the pharaoh.

----------------------------------------------------------

**Nadako:** *grumble*.. *looks at the clock* 7:36 p.m... *sigh*   
**Mariku:** What's wrong?   
**Nadako:** *grumbles* Homework...   
**Mariku:** A lot of it?   
**Nadako:** Skipped two days of school.. What do you think?! *sigh*.. should have never taken that day off...   
**Mariku:** *slaps Nadako's back* You're a smart girl! You'll catch up!   
**Nadako:** *huffs* That's if you don't want me to post this chapter...   
**Mariku:** Eh... nevermind...   
**Nadako:** Thought so... ¬¬ Cue the Reviews!

**Arigatou...   
  
SilverWinter-** Hah! Yuugi DOESN'T get drunk XD... until now.. *sticks tongue out*... don't ask...   
**labyrinth of chaos-** Wuahahah... yes.. suffer... torment.. They must go through torture... well, Bakura has to at least. ^^ Thanks for the review!   
**Mina-** O.O You've been staring at this screen laughing for an hour...?... must be new record XD Lol. Thanx for the review though!   
**Saturn Imp-** Yes.. Yuugi becoming a drunkard is a VERY scary situation. Heh... I've postponed the event until the NEXT chapter.. I keep saying that don't I? O.o oh well... The cast didn't have to go through the torture...yet... *cackles evilly*   
**sdrive-** Wahahaha! Yes.. I've finally updated.. school work.. *sigh sigh* Such a horrible thing. XD Hurry up and update your own chapters too!   
**Mistress of Ice-** Really? This is funny? I'm always told that.. but when I read the story over.. it doesn't seem funny.. I guess your own stories don't see so humorous to yourself.. Hn.. As long as you all like it ^^   
**Dreamy-eyes1-** Lol.. You really like 'Watashi no Tenshi Sukuinushi' neh? Well.. I'm a bit stuck on that story right now.. =.= I have to find a way to free Ryou somehow.. Yami and Yuugi are going to play a big role in the fic.. just to let you know. ^^ Thank you for the view-view!   
**BlueMew-** Hn.. I don't think I'm going to put Isis into the story.. doesn't really fit. ^^; sorry. But yes.. I'll be making Malik/Mariku do more things. ^__^   
**Destiny-** *rubs hands in evil manner* Yes.. Yamis must all suffer... *looks evilly at Mikalai* *cackles*. Cough.. Yes sure, your yami can get her own free copy of the book! Just dial 666-6666! Just make sure you don't leave a message on the answering machine.. O.o Mariku doesn't like that.. eh-hehehe... don't ask...   
**Nari-** Hn? Suki.. you studied it? Really? Did you take the quiz? Wut did ya get? hn? hn? XD I like your story Nari! I can't write Malik-centered fics.. it always turns out to be Ryou/Bakura or Yuugi/Yami. ^-^

**Nadako:** *starry eyes* WAAAHH! Ten reviews! I feel so inspired! *prances around*   
**Mariku:** *coughs loudly*   
**Nadako:** Alright.. so I don't feel so inspired XD. Thank you all for the reviews! And don't forget to review THIS time! ^0^ Ja!


	6. Prepare For Battle!

**Nadako:** Fufoo...   
**Bakura:** ....?   
**Nadako:** *sigh sigh* I'm just going to cut this little A/N short. I have nothing really to say...   
**Bakura:** Wait no! I want to say something!   
**Nadako:** ....alright...   
**Bakura:** ....   
**Nadako:** Well?   
**Bakura:** Huh?   
**Nadako:** You...wanted to say something?   
**Bakura:** uh...   
**Nadako:** *patience waning* well?   
**Bakura:** ^^' You're going to hate me for this but.. I only said that so you would keep the A/N going... I just love it when I get to be the guest speaker here. *grin grin*   
**Nadako:** *twitch*.. alright.. you just wasted my precious time.. OUT OUT OUT! *kicks Bakura*   
**Bakura:** o.o I just hate it when she does that... I always end up in that horrible palace. *soaring through the air*

**Palace of Disclaimers:   
  
Bakura:** @.@ *dazed*   
**Disclaimer1:** *sigh*.. what did you do this time?   
**Disclaimer2:** *reads note attached to Bakura*.. crap.. I think Nadako-chan wants him to stay here.. *horrified look*   
**Disclaimer1:** No way! This story is centered around him..   
**Disclaimer2:** But what if she decides to change the plot and keep him here?!   
**Disclaimer1:** Then she'd be hunted and killed by all those Bakura fans, and she'd have to change her story title...   
**Bakura:** =.= *large bump on head*....don't tell me.. I'm in the Palace of Disclaimer- *SCREAM*... *sigh*.. who keeps doing that?   
**Disclaimer2:** Doing what?   
**Bakura:** Screaming...   
**Disclaimer2:** What scream?   
**Bakura:** The scream you always hear when you say "Palace of Disclaimers"-   
**Disclaimer1:** *screaming into microphone*   
**Bakura:** *shakes head* Forget it.. I'll just say the disclaimers.... 'Nadako-Mika doesn't own Yugioh' LET ME OUT!   
**Disclaimer2:** Sure thing! *kicks Bakura out the door* XD   
**Bakura:** o_o...

  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 6: Prepare for Battle!   
By: Nadako-Mika

  
  
  


"Oh, Yami!"   
"No! NO! Stay back! NOO!"

"Eat it!"   
"No!"   
"Come on, Mariku!"   
"No!"   
"*frowns*...*sniffle* why-?"   
"GET THAT SPOONFUL OF SUGAR AWAY FROM ME, MALIK!"

"*click click* Wow.. that's a nice purse..."   
"Yeah. Gold studs and everything."   
"Ya think they would break off easily? The large studs I mean..."   
"Not sure. Guys like me don't need purses."   
"Come one, Kaiba. Just give me your opinion."   
"*sigh* Buy it if ou want... Here, I'll add it to the shopping cart."   
"^____^"

Bakura sat quietly on the couch, his eyebrows contantly twitching involuntarily. The events surrounding him seemed to hit every nerve in his mind. Yuugi chasing Yami.... Malik trying to stuff his yami full of that toxic substance they humans call 'sugar'.... and Anzu talking in a civilized tongue to Kaiba. His brow twitched again. This was one hell of a party...

The tomb robber sighed as he turned his attention back to the video game his hikari and Jounouchi were playing. The two were absorbed within the game itself; some kart racing game, Bakura wasn't sure of the title. He found it amusing, though, that the object of the game was to race around some weird land in little go-carts that hardly fit the character, and then try to beat your oponent by chucking turtle shells and bombs, eating mushrooms to go faster, or flinging banana peels to slow your oponents. Ryou was currently in the lead.

"Hey! That's not fair! I didn't even see that comin!" Jounouchi complained.

"You weren't suppose to..." Ryou retorted, eyes glued to the television screen.

Bakura soon grew bored of the game. Jounouchi had demanded a rematch five times in the same setting, and each time Ryou beat him again. His eyes darted around the room, desperate to find something to occupy his time. Something large, thick and blue caught his eye. _The Big Blue Book of Anger Management_! He wondered what lessons the gracious book would enstow upon his little and shrunken mind...

((- **Bakura:** HEY!   
((- **Nadako:** What?   
((- **Bakura:** Stop insulting me would you?   
((- **Nadako:** ppft.. insulting you? Naw.. I was just stating a true fact!   
((- **Bakura:** *twitch*   
((- **Nadako:** *COUGH* moving along now...

"Let's see.... boredom...boredom..," his finger trailed through the index at the back of the book. "AH-HAH! Lesson 10!" he cried out triumphantly before flipping quickly through the pages.

_Lesson 10: Feeling a Little Bored?_

Ahh.. so you're bored.. Poor Baby...*sarcastic*. What's the matter? Couldn't find anyone to torture? Couldn't steal the Pharaoh's puzzle? Aww...why not? Is it because the pharaoh's too smart for you? Does your puny brain not function well enough to snatch a simple ornament from around his hikari's neck?

Bakura twitched yet again. This author was really getting on his nerves... 

_Anyway, that's besides the point. We are gathered here.. er.. no not to marry two couples... but we are gathered to make suggestions on what to do when you (the yami) suddenly grow bored._

1. Run on a Killing Spree

This book does suggest ways to prevent killing.. but only for your hikari. This book will never mention anything about NOT killing other innocent pedestrians. So go torture and torment to your hearts delight! Don't know how or who to kill? Well.. let's...*echoing voice* CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

- Killing strangers are a good thing... especially if it's a stranger your hikari doesn't know.. You don't want to be lectured on 'don't you dare kill another innocent mortal' again do you? Didn't think so...   
  
- Consider killing your victim with your claws- huh? what do you mean you don't have claws? Your nails are sharpened enough to be considered claws no?...What do you mean you don't know?! Look at your god-damned nails! Yes... yes.. pointy, it's pointy. Hey, no... don't- *sighs* poke yourself with your nails.. Yes.. I warned you. Now you're bleeding.. go clean up first, then we'll continue the lesson...

Bakura quickly rushed to the bathroom, insearch for the first aid kit. He worked to wrap up his bloodied arm, all the while muttering, "...Ra damned nails.. I should really consider trimming them..."

_Welcome back. Now.. your 'claws' would be the best suggestion to killing a victim. Why? Well... it's slow and painful for one.. and don't you just love it when their blood covers your hand? What?! What do you mean 'NO'? I thought you were blood-crazed. *huff* Oh.. you're not a 'vampire'... Well I know what you do to your hikari.. Admit it.. you love blood.. you love your hikari's blood. Don't deny it! Hah! *mocking tone* "That's a different story" my ass.. Alright...moving along..._

2. Don't feel like killing?

What do you mean you DON'T FEEL LIKE KILLING?!!? Are you insane?! Wait.. don't asnwer that.. of course you're insane.. *cough* I meant to ask.. ARE YOU SANE?! What kind of a yami wouldn't like to kill? No, you leave the pharaoh out of this! He has enough on his mind. Like what you ask? Well..er..like...like.. Saving the world!

"Feh.. What kind of a yami would want to SAVE the world? We prefer world domination or destruction." Bakura said.

_*COUGH* MOVING ALONG! Well. If you don't like killing you could just SIT at home while becoming annoyed at everything that's happening around you. Yes, I do mean those arrogant fools running around your home chasing each other..._

Bakura looked up from the book to see Yami dash by, closely pursued by his hikari. As he was lowering his eyes back to the book, another figure raced past. Mariku was being chased by a sugar-crazed hikari...

_Don't feel like being annoyed? Well.. SUCK IT UP! You really have no choice. It's either sit and be mad, or go out there and join the festivities. I doubt you would want to help the pharaoh's hikari chase his yami, right?_

There's really nothing you (the yami) can do in such a situation. It was your fault to begin with. How so? If I recall correctly, YOU were the one who approved of your hikari's little party. What's that? You say you had no choice? Of course you had a choice! There is such a word as 'No'. HEY- don't argue with me! I'm the all mighty book of anger management! By the powers enstowed upon me...I shall bring forth your hikari and- scared yet? Feh.. alright, that concludes this lesson. Go on and waste your time reading the rest of the book.

Bakura slammed the book shut, eyes filled with furry. The book didn't help much... it just fueled his anger. "So much for _Anger Management_..." he muttered before chucking the book into the roaring fireplace. Who lit the fire was a mystery, considering the fact that it was a hot summer evening and there was no need for extra heat.

He stood up, looking quite proud of himself when realization dawned on him. If he wanted to keep Ryou alive, he needed that book! Acting quicky without much thought, Bakura reached into the fireplace and yanked the book out of the roaring flames, ignoring the fact that his skin was starting to burn... He sighed in relief when he saw the book had no burns (which was pretty awkward). Suddenly his hands hurt. He looked down to see that his skin was starting to blister and was burned from the fire. Bakura twitched and looked down at the book. How was it that the book, completely composed of wood and paper, not burn.. yet his own skin burned from a moments of exposure to the heat. He shook his head and used the ring to heal his wounds.

'_Maybe some coffee will help calm my nerves, you know what they say: A cup of coffee and you won't get lofty!_' Bakura blinked, '_Whatever THAT means..._'

So the annoyed yami trudged his way to the kitchen, in search of some coffee to rid himself of his...loftiness... He was reaching for the cupboard door when-

"Hi Bakura!" someone called out, clinging itself onto his back.

"Yuugi..." Bakura said, his face painted with annoyance.

"Have you seen Yami?" the boy asked in a honey coated voice. However, Bakura knew the true Yuugi behind that innocent mask. A monster, pure evil.. alright, not so much evil, but he had a highly annoying personality.

"No." Bakura answered in a monotone voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"REALLY sure?"

"Of course."

"REALLY, REALLY sure?"

"Why would I know the where abouts of your dear yami?"

"Because you Yamis have all got to stick together!"

"Feh... Yamis? I wouldn't classify YOUR other half as a yami..."

Yuugi only blinked stupidly at that comment. He looked blankly at Bakura, thinking for a moment. "Alright.. Then have you seen my Other Self?"

Bakura's brow twitched once more. He felt a sudden urge to fling the little body clinging onto his neck through the glass windows. "No... now get lost! He's probably hung himself behind the bathroom door again."

Yuugi gave the cutest of smiles and hopped off Bakura, much to the Yami's relief. "=3 Okay!" he said before scurrying off in search for his other self.

Bakura muttered a few egyptian curses towards Yuugi and reached for the cupboard again. He opened it, expecting to find the ground coffee, but instead-

"EEK!" something cried from behind the cupboard door.

"Yami! What the heck are you doing NOW?!" Bakura asked, slightly surprised to see the former pharaoh hiding in the cupboard.

"Hiding from that hikari of mine," Yami answered as he got out of his hiding spot and hopped off the counter. "I swear-"

"You do? *huff* That's surprising"

Yami glared at the other, "I was going to say.. that Yuugi would go to no ends to catch me.."

"_Oh YAMI!_" a familiar voice called from another room.

"O.O Oh shit! Must run! Must hide!"

Yami started running around in circles, panicking. Bakura couldn't help but snigger, bemused by the pharaoh's sudden behavior. Maybe he should consider that little hikari of Yami's as a possible weapon...

"Where to hide?! Where to hide?!"

"May I suggest," Bakura started amusement filling his voice, "The bathroom door? Hanging yourself was a great way to hide." He sniggered.

But Yami didn't seem to hear Bakura. As soon as he heard Yuugi's footsteps drawing closer, he dashed out of the kitchen and hid under the couch. Bakura only shook his head before turning his attention to the coffe maker.

"Now how do you work this thing?..."

----------------------------------------

"I'll be safe here..." Mariku muttered to himself as he crouched behind a rather large bush. He froze as he saw his sugar-high hikari pass the kitchen window.

He heard snoring behind him and looked back, only to face a fence. '_That's funny... I thought fences didn't snore..I never knew they slept..._' he thought stupidly. Then it hit him... maybe there was something BEHIND the fence that was snoring... He peered over the fence, carefully watching the kitchen window incase his hikari walked by again. There was a...

"..A dog.." he stated, venom dripping in his voice.

***sudden drumroll***

Mariku suddenly stood straight up, forgetting about being hidden from his hikari's view. He somehow had quickly changed, for his clothes now consisted of army boots, camaflouged pants and jacket, and a thick war helmet with bits of leaves sticking out of it. He stomped his foot and saluted to no one in particular.

As quickly as he stood, he ducked again, so only his large helmet and his lavender eyes could be seen behind the fence. He glared at the canine and muttered, "Let the battle commence!"

From his jacket pocket he whipped out a notebook and pen. Mariku started to scribble something down...

_Battle Log:   
War Against Enemy Canine.   
Day 1 - 20:14 past midday._

Enemy dog has been spotted. He seems to be unaware of my presence. Type of enemy? Large dog, baring sharp teeth, seems absolutely ruthless...Known best as....the POODLE. Best be careful.

Plan A: Sneek up on enemy, injure his right, back leg. Then run and hope for the best. Let the plan begin!

Must find a weapon.. weapon.. possible injuring weapon.. HAH! A wooden stick! It shall do nicely! ........careful now.. quietly sneek up. Remember your training General! O.O since when did I promote myself to general? No I'm still a soldier. Soldier Mariku! Yes.. that's it. Carrying on with the plan...

Oh! Step right! Must avoid any twigs. Careful where you tread.. may be hidden bombs. Yes! reached enemy headquarters. Enemy in range. Target locked.. and... fire- NO! He has seen me! GARGH! Plan failed.. must retreat! RETREAT MEN! RETREAT! Mustn't look back. ARGH! I looked.. enemy is growling menacingly, it's giving chase. What's this? Stopped by a chain hung around it's neck? HAH! You can't get ME! XP

Huh? What's that sound? OH NO! Enemy 2: sugar-high hikari has arrived on the battle field! Must be allied with enemy canine! Need to hide!

Malik came out the back door, skipping slightly in his step, a disturbing smile plastered on his face. He looked around, trying to catch sight of his yami, but his eyes ended up falling on a small poodle in the neighbor's backyard.

He hopped over the fence and walked over to the dog, reaching out to pet it. Before he touched it, a voice called out.

"MALIK! Don't go near that hell hound! It'll tear your arm off!" Bakura called from the kitchen window.

"Don't worry about it Bakura!" Malik called back, "It's only a poodle!" Ignoring Bakura's warning, Malik reached down to pet the dog again.

Bakura shook his head and sighed. '_What he doesn't know is that poodles are known to be viciously agressive.. and this poodle is no different..._'

The dog's eyes snapped open and it growled at Malik. The boy merely blinked and stared. It wasn't until the poodle snapped it's jaws at Malik, that he ran quickly back towards Ryou's house. Malik closed the door behind him and cluctched his behind. "That thing almost took a chunk out of me.." he said meekly.

Out in the neighbor's yard the dog had fallen back to sleep. But something moved behind the tool shed. Mariku's snigger could be faintly heard. He placed a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. Taking out his 'Battle Log', he prepared to write in it the events that just passed...

_*ahem*.. Plan A backfired... Turns out enemy 2 is in no alliance with canine enemy, quite the oppsite. Enemy currently tranquil and unmoving. Must plan out next attack...._

------------------------------------------------------------

**Nadako:** *blink* I don't think that turned out very funny...   
**Mikalai:** No.. I don't think so either. How could that be?   
**Nadako:** Meh.. I'm not in a humorous mood... But.. If you the reader think it hilarious, then I'm glad ^-^.

**Thank you to the following readers for reviewing!:** (I'm too lazy to comment...sorry.. XD)

Dreamy-Eyes1   
Misura   
Ryou Bakura Obsessor   
Kinsako   
Mina-chan AMD   
SilverWinter   
Saturn Imp   
Hedi Dracona   
sdrive   
labyrinth of chaos   
BlueMew   
Princess Hallie   
Tommy'sPonyGirl   
Peace Writer   
Windswift

**Nadako:** O.O This is by far the most reviews I've gotten for this story. I THANK YOU ALL! Now don't forget to reivew ^.^ Ja!


	7. It's All Too Strange

**Nadako:** Wow.. It's bean almost two months since I last posted. Such a miracle that I updated now..*dances around for no apparent reason*   
**Bakura:** *is greatly disturbed* WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!   
**Nadako:** Feh.. *ahem* Thank you for your reviews! I'm very glad! Not as much as last time-   
**Bakura:** Oh yes.. she missed that mark by one. *rolls eyes*   
**Nadako:** *glares daggers*... -but I'm still glad. Its still good.. I'm fine. I'm not mad.. I'm NOT mad.. I'M NOT FRIGGIN TICKED OFF! *pant pant*   
**Bakura:** O.O;; May I suggest the Big Blue Book of Anger Management?   
**Nadako:** I DO NOT have a problem! I HAVE NO PROBLEM! I'm perfectly SANE I tell you- wait. no.. not sane.. I'm never sane, it would be a sin to call me sane.. *cackle*   
**Bakura:** =.= Problem child...   
**Nadako:** Shall I make you visit that horrid palace again, dear Bakura? You know.. I think Disclaimers 1 & 2 are growing fond of you! I'm sure you'd feel welcome there. *innocent smile*   
**Bakura:** NO! NEVER! *hiss claw bark* That tainted palace is of no place for such a yami!   
**Nadako:***shrugs* suit yourself..

  


**Disclaimer:**   
**Seto:** *blink blink* Why am _I_ doing this?   
**Nadako:** I'll stuff you in my trusty closet again.   
**Seto:** o.o Nadako-Mika doesn't own Yuugiou!

  
  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 7: It's All Too Strange...   
By: Nadako-Mika

  
  
  


A loud, anguished sigh was heard in the corner of the living room. Ten seconds later, an even louder sigh erupted. This process repeated itself about three more times before someone caught on.

"Would you SHUT it?"

_Sigh._

"I'm warning you..."

_SIGH....MORE TROUBLED SIGH._

"Pharaoh.. one more sigh.. and I'll send a picture of you like that over the internet!

_Sighing stops._

Bakura turned his back on the depressed yami and made his way for the stairs. He was slowly and surely losing his sanity- how much he had in the first place, we may never know. Boredom was slowly creeping up, he didn't want to end up like some idiot who spent his time staring and drooling at passing butterflies... Much like that kid from across the block.

_Sigh..._

Bakura stopped short of a step and turned abruptly around. "Yami.." he said threateningly.

The disfigured looking yami glared at him. "You can't blame me! Look at what he's doing to me!!!" Yami shouted, pointing to a disgustingly happy looking Yuugi.

Bakura crossed his arms over his chest. "Personally, I think you look better that way."

"Why you.." Yami made a leap for Bakura's throat, only to be forced back down.

"DON'T MOVE YAMI! You'll smudge the make-up!" Yuugi cried out. Yami let out an anguished groan and sat down again, wincing as he felt his hikari's hands go back to his hair.

Bakura fought against the sudden urge to fall laughing, and pointing- just like he had done when he saw Yami hanging behind the bathroom door. Instead, he turned his attention to Ryou. "Eh.. Hikari? Do you happen to have that digital camera of yours?"

Ryou, who was still quite absorbed into that cart-racing game he was playing against Jounouchi, waved at his yami with his back turned against him. "Yeah, It's probably by the computer. Go look for yourself- HEY! NO! That's not.. YOU TOOK A SHORT-CUT!"

Jounouchi jumped up and cheered for himself, all the while crying out, "YES! I BEAT HIM! I BEAT HIM! I BEAT HIM!"

Bakura was oblivious to the situation, as he was too absorbed in his plans of humiliating the 'all mighty pharaoh'. '_Yes.. this will be too perfect. Bwuahahaha..._' He walked towards the computer, the one being shared by Anzu and Seto. He shuddered at their civilized behavior, '_..Disturbing.. Oh- HAH! I found it!_'

With the digital camera in hand, Bakura almost skipped happily towards the corner of the room, where the pharaoh was located.

Upon seeing the Tomb Robber, Yami shuddered. Oh sure.. he seemed innocent of all cause, what with him standing there, not doing anything. But his almost happy (_almost_, not quite ) grin told otherwise. Yes, Yami knew the true Yami-Bakura behind that innocent face. For when it came to Bakura looking innocent... something always went wrong.

"There!" Yuugi exclaimed, "Finished! Of course.. you hair just won't do.. it doesn't seem to want to cooperate, oh well."

Yami turned his attention away from the psychotic, hot-tempered yami and stared at his hikari in confusion. "Finished what?" he asked dumbly. His hand went to his hair and- "Oh... ! ACK! WHAT DID YOU DO?!-"

_Click... Flash._

Yami's eyes widened. He turned back to Bakura, only to see him holding a camera and grinning like a little child who had just opened a present. He stuttered, "Y-you.. d-didn't... ARRGHH! MY LIFE IS RUINED!" Yami suddenly paled and turned to Bakura, "How bad do I look?..." he asked timidly.

Bakura sniggered, failing to keep a calm composure. "*ahem*.. lets just say.. besides the hair, you could pass for a girl."

Yami gave a girlish shriek before running off in search for a bathroom mirror. Yuugi stood up, failing to hide his dissapointment. "I don't think it looks _that_ bad.." he said quietly.

Ryou barely looked up to see what had whipped by him. He saw, out of the corner of his eyes, only a blur of black, red, and purple. He _did_ look, however, when something fell onto his arm. He blinked at the strange ornament that had fallen off Yami, panicking soon after.

"Oh My Gosh! It's a freaking spider!" he screamed, dropping the joystick and jumping up. He desperately brushed the fake spider hair-clip off his arm, whilst making a mad dash to his yami.

As soon as Bakura had calmed down after that... humorous..event, a large blur of white hit him in the chest, knocking him over onto his back. When he caught his breath again, he looked down to find Ryou shaking, desperately clinging onto him for his dear life. "Ryou.. as much as I love to have you on top of me.. could you please get off?" he asked, somewhat dryly.

Ryou blinked his eyes open, unaware of the situation he was in. He looked up to meet his yami's annoyed gaze. He looked back down again to find himself in a ...*ahem*.. most interesting position. Of course.. this only made him flush bright scarlet. " ^#^;; um..." was all he could say as he quickly scrambled off his flattened yami.

Three pairs of blinking eyes (belonging to Jounouchi, Yuugi, and Malik. Everyone else was either oblivious or just weren't present) stared down at the two white-haired teens. "What was that about?" all three asked in unison.

Ryou never answered, he was just staring at the little spider hair-clip as if it would jump up and attack him. His eyes darted back and forth between his guests and the little clip. He didn't dare look away too long, for fear of the clip suddenly coming to life and biting him.

"He fears spiders," Bakura said casually. His expression was quite bored, as if this happened every day. "You should see what happens when you dangle a large stuffed one infront of him. He goes ballistic!" Something big, black and furry was instantly thrusted infront of the yami. He backed up in surprised, but twitched an eye when he saw Malik happily holding out a stuffed spider.

"Will this do?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Bakura waved the spider away. He shuddered a moment before saying, "Just make sure you have ear plugs-" but he was too late. Malik had already thrown the stuffed arachnid at Ryou.

The hikari blinked as the black fur ball landed on his lap. He froze up as he noticed it had.. more than four legs... '_four, five, six, seven...*gulp*...eight!_'.....

The shrill sound of Ryou's high pitched scream rattled the windows to his home.

Everyone inside clutched their ears in pain- save for Anzu and Seto, who surprisingly had earmuffs on... Bakura staggered towards his hikari and hurriedly plucked the stuffed spider off of Ryou's lap. The boy instantly stopped the horrific screamed and blinked stupidly down at his lap.

"Oh.. It's gone.." he said. Ryou looked around the room, while everyone was trying to recover their hearing (they hoped hearing aids wouldn't be needed for a long while..). His eyes fell upon a certain eight legged hair clip on the ground. Ryou took a large breath, preparing for another one of his screaming fits.

Jounouchi was the first to recover, the loud ringing in his ears slowly subsiding. He glanced down at Ryou, and noticed he was looking at the spider-clip, whilst drawing a deep breath. Jounouchi immediately bent down to retrieve the object, hiding it from Ryou's view. Good thing too.. Ryou was about to scream..

"AAH- Oh.. That's gone too.." Ryou said with.. disappointment? Had he WANTED to blow their ears up?

Yuugi and Malik fell over when they had got their hearing back. "Let's.. never go through that again.." they both suggested.

Bakura nodded, "I agree whole heartily."

Jounouchi blinked up at Bakura, obviously amazed. "Wow.. and you have to put up with that almost everyday?" he asked, as if Bakura were his hero.

"Yup...everyday. Or as long as there are spiders around."

"I feel sorry for you.." Jounouchi said in a sympathetic tone.

"You should- HEY! Are you pitying me?" Bakura twitched a brow. "I'll tell you one thing I hate.. PITY! I hate being pitied, and if you do that one more time, I swear I'll feed you to Floofle!" he screamed, twitching some more.

Jounouchi glared at the pissed off yami. "Jeeze.. I'm only human.. Unlike you."

"Care to say that again?" Bakura threatened.

The blonde shrugged. "I'm only telling the truth. Aren't you a spirit from one of the mystical items? Or was that all a cover-up?"

Bakura growled menacingly, "Care to meet Floofle?"

"Floofle?..."

"Yes.. that hell hound in the neighbour's yard. About the size of a pea, but surprisingly lethal," Bakura said.

Jounouchi was unphased. "Poodle, I'm guessing?" Bakura nodded. "Yikes.. those things really bite!"

"Correct. And you'll be its next bite victim if you don't shut up!" Jounouchi opened him mouth to protest, but Bakura cut him off with a chomping sound (imitating a poodle bite).

Just as silence was settling amongst the group of teens, something strange happened. Something so horrific, it would make your skin crawl. Something happened that would change their lives forever...

The electricity went out.

"Well.... That was dramatic," Bakura said dryly, commenting on the authoress's work.

((-**Nadako:** Hey..what's this? *opens a letter* *twitch twitch* Bakura....   
((-**Bakura:** *looks innocent* Hn?   
((-**Nadako:** I got another bill... *twitch* You didn't break another fourth wall did you?   
((-**Bakura:** *gulp*...*smack*   
((-**Nadako:** *holds up fan*

------------------------------------

Private Mariku was behind the fence once again, peering over to spy on the vicious canine located on the other side. He growled out of despise for the animal. He was just about to carry out Plan B of the attack- which included throwing the canine a bone, then smacking it with a large stick while it was distracted- when a sudden alarm rang.

Oops.. my mistake. Not an alarm.. a scream.

In any case, the sound startled Mariku as he aimed and threw the bone at his enemy. This caused his aim to worsen and the bone he threw somehow landed up in a tree nearby. He clutched his ears as the screaming for bloody murder continued.

'_Curses! That was my last bone!_'

After what seemed like an eternity, the screaming finally ceased. Mariku pulled his fingers out of his ear and blinked stupidly. '_What the heck's happening in there? Better go check it out. Who knows what terrors await Private Mariku!_' he thought as he raced back into Ryou's home. He tripped over some cord on the way. Funny thing is...

All the power in the neighbourhood went out...

'_Curses..._' Mariku...cursed.

------------------------------------

"Great. Now what do we do?" Bakura whined. This was turning out to be one heck of a party...

Apparently, no one had heard him. For when he turned back to the group, they were all sitting around a lit candle singing 'koombaya' (however you spell that) and swaying together from side to side.

His brow twitched for the fourth time. "How can you find singing such an amusement?!" he asked, more like screamed at them.

Yuugi turned to the disgruntled yami, but only smiled and said (in such a digustingly happy voice), "Join us Bakura! It's great fun!"

Bakura twitched his nose. "Don't tell me... There's a purple dinosaur about to come in and say 'I LOVE YOU ALL!'" he said.

Suddenly, the door burst open and someone fell in. Bakura froze. He feared it may be the infamous purple skinned dino that all grown children hated. But he sighed in relief as he saw his fellow yami's psychotic face. But something Mariku said made Bakura shudder violently...

  
  
.....   
  
  
........ Wait for it....   
  
......   
  


"I LOVE YOU ALL!"

Even more surprising was the response he got from the group of teens (excluding Anzu and Seto, their computer seemed to be still on... and excluding Yami, who was at the time still trying to get rid of the...make-up...) sitting around the 'fire' singing...

  
  
....   
  


"WE ALL LOVE YOU TOO MARIKU!"

Bakura just stared at them all. His eyes merely tiny dots on his pale face, a sweat drop running down the side of his head like in the anime shows.

What the Hell was happening?....

-------------------------------------------

**Nadako:** OMFG! *falls laughing* Now THAT was insane!   
**Bakura:** *scoff* You're the one who wrote it...   
**Nadako:** *grins* Writing late at night really does wonders for humor fics.. *cackles*   
**Bakura:** I'm scared.. seriously I am...   
**Nadako:** Bwuahahahahaha-*choke cough* bleh.. BWUAHAHAHA-*choke* *ahem*.. BWUAHA-*choke choke* *growls*   
**Bakura:** ¬¬ This is too weird...

  


**'I LOVE YOU ALL' *cough* Thanks to...**   
  
**Mina-chan AMD ::** Thanks for the reivew! I finally finished this chapter, so I should be able to go read your fics now!   
  
**Mooncinder aka Dreamy-Eyes1 ::** I'm glad you thought it was funny... I thought THIS chapter was downright hilraious! *falls laughing* *ahem* anyways.. thanks for the review!   
  
**sdrive ::** O.O;; I'm not going to ask.. actually.. I am.. How the heck can you make a hikari and yami out of Toad and Bowser, Shi? That is.. unless Toad is Yuugi (small and shrimpy) and then Bowser is Yami (ugly with all that make-up on in this chapter ^0^). Oh and it's exercise.. I always had trouble spelling that word o.o;;   
  
**Ryou Bakura Obsessor ::** Are you on laughing gas? O_o... You're laughing so hard that you can't type..? OMG! Did you fall out of your chair?! XD er yeah. Thanks for the review!   
  
**Peace Writer ::** Is Shi threatening you? By all means.. please use the 'Lessons in the Art of Destruction and Demolition of the Yami Civilization' book! (in my new fic 'Return the Innocence, Before it's too Late!). Sorry I haven't read your fic yet.. I've been busy, haven't been reading or writing much, but I'll make sure I read yours along with the ones Mina and Sdrive wrote that I have to read too.. o.o;; I'm going to be busy for a while... XD Thanks!   
  
**Saturn Imp ::** Lol! Thanks for telling me! But I'm just too lazy to fix it.. =.=. OH! I noticed you spelt 'furry' wrong too... 'kuriboh's are fury'. XD Now we're even... LOL Thanks for the review!   
  
**BlueMew ::** Disturbing? Hn... Well this chapter should have been even more disturbing XD... what with Mariku shouting out 'I LOVE YOU ALL' ...*shudders*.. I regret writing that now...   
  
**Windswift ::** Unfortunately.. I'm the 'anit-social author' of the anger management book.. =P heh-heh... XD But yes.. I am anti-social.. I fear people.. *hiss*... Aren't you glad I responded? XD You love your review responses neh?   
  
**labyrinth of chaos ::** *pat pat* You wrote everything so nonchalantly (if I used that word correctly..) that I thought you were a bot of some sort O.o. Well thanks for the review!   
  
**SilverWinter ::** WAH! I updated! Aren't you glad! I actually got off my butt to do something useful (in your point of view)!!   
  
**Princess Hallie ::** *is flattered* You love this story? I'm glad! Mariku's strange in this chapter.. not funny O.o And yes.. Yami is still stupid XD. *is being chased by Yami Fangirls*   
  
**Nari(-chan) ::** Wow.. your yami's rude..*huff* XD try the 'Lesson's in the Art of Desturction and Demolition of the Yami Civilization' book? XD it does wonders for us hikaris... Thanks for the review! Now I must go reread your stories.. since you reposted.   
  
**Rei Akita ::** Thanks for the review!   
  
**Misura ::** I'm glad you liked it all. Yuugi finally caught Yami ^0^ aah... and he destroyed his looks too *cackles* Thanks for the reivew.


	8. Barney? And Idol or Hero?

**A/N:** I appoligize for leaving you all hanging from the last chapter. I'm pretty sure you're all eager to know what awaits Bakura *sarcasm*. Eh.. yeah. I've been really busy, lazy, and addicted to deviantART. O__O maybe I should just shut up and start writing...   
  
...Again.. I'm sorry for the long..LONG...LOOONG wait =)

  


**Disclaimer:**   
Shall I take the burden off of the characters?... *waits*... I didn't think so. *smacks someone*   
  
**Malik:** *has been smacked* @_@ Nadako-Mika doesn't own YuGiOh.

  
  
  


**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 8: Barney? An Idol or Hero?   
By: Nadako-Mika

  
  
  


"_I love YOU! You love ME!..._"

Oh dear Lord...

"_We're a HAPPY family!.._"

Make it stop!

Bakura twitched involuntarily as the group of highly distressed teens began to sing. What's so bad about singing? Well.. they: were singing TOGETHER; were WAY off key; and what's worse? They sang the BARNEY song! *audience gasps*

" *cries* I love you Jounouchi!" Yuugi sobbed as he gave Jounouchi a big bear hug.

Ryou clung onto Malik's arm, whilst saying, "Promise me we'll be friends forever!"

"You'll always be my friend, Ryou!" Malik then answered, a big grin plastered on his face.

"No one loves me!" Mariku cried, large streams of tears running from his eyes. Yes.. rather LARGE streams...

"_We love you, Mariku!_" the other four teens exclaimed in unison.

"I'm HAPPY!" Mariku piped up. He began prancing- yes.. PRANCING- around the group of teens (who were now back to singing the Barney song).

Bakura shuddered violently and made a mad dash towards the stairs, but not before being thoroughly glomped by the prancing Mariku. After a few minutes of attempting to pry Mariku off his leg, Bakura decided to just drag the strangely happy yami along with him. Hopefully, he would be able to knock some sense into Mariku as the teen was being dragged up the stairs.. roughly.

Alas, Bakura never made it to the sanctuary of the stairs.

"Huh?.." He suddenly felt more weight applied to his free leg. He looked down.., "Ryou! Get off!"

His hikari just looked up. Bakura stiffened, '_Oh gosh.. no... NOOO!_'

Now you're probably wondering why Bakura was frightened. I mean, Ryou only just looked up at him, right? Well, add the looking up part with the fact that he was staring cutely and..._innocently_.. *ding ding* Does that ring a bell? You know... Innocence plus hikaris? Innocence + Hikari = "Special Hikari Powers".

"Come and sing with us, Bakura!" Ryou said.

Oh boy...

------------------------------

"Do you want another hug, Bakura?"   
"How about some candy? Sugar should cheer you up!"   
"Let's sing again!"   
"Yeah!"

"_I love you! You love me! We're a happy family!_"

Poor Bakura. He was currently tied up in the corner of the living room. His 'friends' were currently circling him and ranting on about nice...kind.. friendly *shudder* things. He swore they were doing it just to vex him.

And now they've gone to singing the Barney song once again... Oh joy.

"_I love you! You Love me!_"

'_I hate you... you hate me..._'

"_We're a HAPPY family!_"

'_Let's gang up and kill Barney..._' Hey.. not bad, not bad. Catchy tune! '_We'll kick him in the *beep* and shoot him in the head! Now that purple dino's dead!_'

To this.. Bakura started grinning.

Jounouchi was the first to notice the yami's obviously strange behavior. "Hey look, everyone! Bakura's smiling!" he announced.

"Do you think the song worked?" Yuugi asked anxiously.

"Bakura! Sing with us!"

"_I love you! You love me!_"

"I hate you! You hate me!" Bakura sang along. Granted, he sang his version of the song.

Yuugi and Jounouchi frowned at his lyrics, but continued singing. "_We're a happy family~_"

"Let's gang up and kill Barney!"

At this point, everyone stops singing and stares at Bakura with hatred. How dare he ruin the happy song! How dare he imply that the all mighty Purple Skinned Dino- who, by the way, wouldn't be able to fit through a door -should be... KILLED. Well, he was on the right track, but they would never admit that ^_______^.

"We'll kick him in the *beep*," a gasp at the yami's choice of words, "and we'll shoot him in the head!"

Ryou and Malik glared at Bakura with deep despise. No one, and they mean NO ONE shoots Barney; let alone kick him in the *beep*.

"Now that purple di~noooo's.... *gasp* DEEEEAAAAAADDD!!!" Bakura finished the song off in a grand manner. The grin he originally started out with had bloomed, and now covered half of his face ( O___o if you can immagine that...). But that smile was whiped off when he saw the many glares sent by the teens infront of him. "Uh... *gulp*"

"Did you hear that?!" Malik cried out, "He insulted Barney!"

"Oh no!" Yuugi exclaimed dramatically... VERY dramatically. "He insulted.. BARNEY? *faints*" ..... Yup... *points* A drama queen.

"No one get's away with insulting MY hero!" Mariku said.

Bakura's eyes were once again mere dots. He wore a disbelieving grin, the corners of his mouth twitching ever so often. First they act like 5 year olds, then they start singing along to the Barney theme song, and now they're sticking up for the infamous Barney?! Who drugged their drinks?!

The group of five slowly, but menacingly, advanced on him. They all wore scowls of hatred. This made the Tomb Robber think... were followers of the immaginary purple skinned dino allowed to hate? *gulp* Were they allowed to gang up on a poor, helpless tomb robber (who doubled as a yami) up?

They were gaining on him, forcing him to back up against the wall. He had almost made it to the basement door, but was pushed aside by Mariku. Now they were upon him, growling and sneering. Oh dear... He didn't seem to have a bright future instore for him. Maybe he should plan out a will right now- oh.. but he was already dead.. ^^;

Yami suddenly strolled into the room.

Perhaps there was hope after all.

'_Don't get caught and help me out!_' was what ran through Bakura's mind.

"What are you all doing?" the Pharaoh asked loudly.

Argh... they were doomed -__-

Yuugi piped up, "Why, hello dear Yami!"

"Uh.. Hi Yuugi...," Yami replied somewhat hestitantly. Yuugi wasn't chasing him around? ... How odd.

"How about you join us in a song?"

"What...song..?"

"THE BARNEY SONG!"

"................" Yami just stared and blinked stupidly at the group of teens infront of him. His eyes rested on a shaking Bakura. The Tomb Robber wore that obvious face that said 'Help me out!'. Well.. Yami could tell something was wrong... "Why is the Tomb Robber shaking with fright?"

"I am NOT shaking with fright!!!"

"Because he insulted Barney and we're out for revenge," Ryou answered.

Yami nodded. "I see. Well.. I better leave you to your singing and vengeful ways. Bye!" he said before trying to make an escape. 'TRYING' being the key word.

"Hey! Don't you leave me with these insane people!!" Bakura screamed.

Yami was about to stop, turn around, and make a mocking face towards the enemy Yami, but not before choking. Someone had caught onto the collar of this jacket.

"Don't leave us, Yami!" Malik cried, "You can't leave! You have to sing!"

"And what if I don't want to?"

"You'll sing... Or else!" Yuugi said, venom dripping in his voice. This left an air of mystery and suspense floating around the crew....

Everyone was silent after that remark. That is.. until Yami suddenly cried out.

"HEY LOOK! There's Barney!" Hey.. he'd try anything to get himself out of his current predicament..

"Ha-ha.. nice try Pharaoh," Bakura sneered, "As if they're stupid enough to-"

"_Where?!_" Five teens cried out, before dashing out the door, searching for their idol.

Yami smirked and said smuggly, "You were saying?"

Bakura only mumbled.

The Pharaoh took hold of the ropes that were bound around Bakura, and dragged the poor Tomb Robber to the bottom of the stairs. Bakura protested against Yami's actions.

"You COULD be a little more careful, you know. Ow, hey! Watch it! I almost crashed into that table leg!"

"I hoped it would shut you up..."

By the time they actually reached the stairs, Bakura was yelling at the Pharaoh. "You're not going to drag me up those stairs are you?! Show a fellow Yami some mercy! Hey! Ow! Watch the corner!.... What are you going to do with that roll of duct tape?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "I'm just going to tape myself to the wall!" he stated, annoyance and sarcasm lined his voice. He ripped off a piece of the heavy tape and placed it over Bakura's mouth. =)

"What?! No! Wait- Mpphhh phhrrrfff!" And then he was gagged ^___^. Let's just hope he doesn't scream when it's ripped - *cough* er.. 'taken' off.

"_Where's Barney? I don't see him!_" came the distant voice of Yuugi.

"We should get going! Must hide before they find us!" Yami said before running up the stairs. Painfully dragging Bakura along with him...

Poor Bakura... He takes all the pain ^_^U.

-----------------------------------------

**A/N:** I think this chapter was short.. *sigh* Oh well. At least I updated ^^; Do I torture Bakura too much? XD Eh-heheheh... No other comments, except for.... THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME! I'm a slow writer, and tend to get distracted from my work ^0^;;;;

**Thanks to:...**   
  
**BlueMew -**_ Bleh.. Sorry.. ^^;; Couldn't update quickly -____- Thanks for reviewing! ^^_   
  
**Mina-chan AMD -**_ Yeah. FFnet tends to cut off reviews when you use those little arrow things '>' and such. ^^; thanks for the review!_   
  
**Nari-chan SND -**_ I don't know what's wrong with Mariku x_x Maybe the poodle operation got to his head. XD We'll find out soon though... Thanks for reviewing!_   
  
**labyrinth of chaos -**_ Mariku sounds like Mojo-jojo? O___o Re-A-lly?_   
  
**Rei Akita -**_ Thanx for the compliment ^^. Thanks for the review too!_   
  
**Windswift -**_ The fourth wall... I just recently learned about it o_o;. It's like some border between the author and the characters in a story. As one writes a story, you tend to try NOT to put yourself, or any mention of yourself, into the fic/story. Unless of course... You're writing a Mary Sue that includes yourself... *cough*. Therefore, when we 'accidently' mention authors in a fic, we call it the 'Fourth Wall Breakage'. I sound all professional XD. Go me! LOL! Did that sort of explain it? If not.. seek an expert =). Thanks for reviewing!_   
  
**SilverWinter -**_ Fwuaha. Glad you liked it =) And there was more Barney insanity in THIS chapter o_o_   
  
**Melony_Mutou -**_ O___O long review! But I'm glad =3. *ahem* In answer to your questions...:   
-First off, Yami's hair. Yeah.. I forgot to describe it. So I'll just leave it up to you readers to think of something hideous! XD Use your immagination. Just think of braids.. *cough*.   
-Was Bakura sarcastic when he said 'Ryou.. as much as I love to have you on top of me...etc.'? Yes. Or else he would have blushed deep crimson. Eh-heheh.   
-Will the 'Big Blue Book of Anger Management' be in the story again? Yes, I'm planning on putting more of it in. XD After all.. we still don't know who wrote the book =).   
-'where did you get the idea of the book?' No where really. I've read fics about the yamis writing little guides. I found it hilarious, but I thought... wouldn't it be even funnier if it were the characters taking lessons, instead of us? And I love books with long names.. =D   
-Your yami wants a list to other humor fics? ^0^;; I only have one other one, called 'Return the Innocence, Before it's Too Late!' I don't write much humor.   
Wow.. so many questions.. but that proves you've truly read my story. *glomps you* THANK YOU!_   
  
**Ryou Bakura Obsessor -**_ Ryou can speak your laughing language? O_o he's got talent.. LOL! Yes.. Ryou Bakura ish hot XD._   
  
**sdrive -**_ Wahaha! That's right! Use those hikari powers! XD Thanks for reviewing! I"m sorry I haven't updated much.._   
  
**Carmen5-Nemrac -**_ Eh-heheh. it's alright. I'm sorry for not updating o.o._   
  
**Princess Hallie -**_ *ish flattered* Thanks! Yeah! Mariku IS awesome! *glomps Mariku* But I love Bakura too.. *pats Bakura* Thanks for the review!_   
  
**Sour Schuyler -**_ o____o... right.. o.o laugh enough? LOL. Thanks!_   
  
**Mooncinder -**_ Wah.. everyone's laughing! ...Please don't wet your pants.. (eew.. that wasn't pleasant ~_~) *cough...COUGH* Thanks!_   
  
**Peace Writer -**_ It did it again! I'm away for a bit and now lots of people have posted fics I need to read! @_@ *foomp falls* I must find time to read.. and write.. gahh... I don't know which shortcut Jou used. XD I haven't played that game in such a long time.. and I never used shortcutes *cackle* I won fair and square! I had talent! ^-^ *ego growing*_   
  
**Saturn Imp -**_ ^^; Thanks for the review!_

I'm sure there are a lot more of you readers out there that I should thank.. so.. Thank you everyone who read (even if you were too lazy to review x_x LOL j/j)   
  
Next update may be a while.. X_x Sorry for the inconvenience. At least I'm telling you a head of time.


	9. Chibified!

**A/N:** From our previous chapter, the two rival yamis find themselves in a hopeless predicament: Everyone LOVES Barney! scream What will happen now? You wonder. shrugs Who knows. They could very well be chopped into tiny pieces and fed to the notorious purple skinned dinosaur's little goldfish! Or.. they could find a way out.. XD

Yes yes, like every other fic-o-mine states: I AM VERY...VERY VERY VERY VERY Sorry. xx I'm working on more fics now! Why? dunno, just a phase. I haven't written in a LONG time and I feel I need to write things out. =) Most of these ideas have come from daydreams and thoughts, by the way. 0 Either that or they've really happened. Oo No, the loving Barney thing didn't really happen. I just threw that in for the fun of it XD

....And what ever is going to happen in THIS chapter never happened in real life.. sees little mini people running about er.. yeah..

**Disclaimer:** Pfft, I don't feel like saying it. Just refer back to those other eight chapters =3

****

****

**

* * *

**

**Bakura's Annoyed- What Will He Do?**   
Chapter 9: Chibified!   
By: Nadako-Mika

Where we last left off, Bakura was being painfully dragged up the stairs by Yami. Why is that? Well.. Seeing as Bakura was first gagged up and tied by Barney worshippers.. you could make your own conclusions. So, let's see what our two favorite Yamis are up to, hm?

"You could have avoided that table leg you know!" Bakura screeched at Yami. His previous cut - the one Yami had so generously gave Bakura when he smashed the vase over the Thief's head - had now increased, swelling in the process.

Yami, however, ignored the enraged spirit beside him as he peered through the window on the second floor. He watched as his Hikari and countless others searched the streets for any signs of the infamous purple dinosaur. He raised a brow questioningly as he saw Malik peering into the neighbor's mailbox. His other brow joined the first as he watched Jounouchi pick up a small garden rock to look under it. Yami sweatdropped as he saw Yuugi barking orders to the others; ranting and raving about the importance of finding their purple hero.

Bakura, on the other hand, failed to notice the events that were taking place outside. "And why did you have to hit those doors on the way in as well?! If I didn't know better, I'd say you did it on purpose!" He was still complaining...

Yami rolled his eyes in annoyance. '_Well of COURSE I did it on purpose, baka!_'

"_Yami lied! Barney's not out here! Let's get him!_" a voice cried from outside.

Yami's ears pricked up at the sound of thumping on the stair case. They were closing in...

"You know how many bruises I have now?" Bakura kept complaining, oblivious to the danger that awaited them if they stayed put. "You could be a little kinder to your fellow yami-"

"SHUT UP TOMB ROBBER! We're about to be caught by Barney loving teenagers and you're worried about my extremely cruel deeds I've done to you?!"

Bakura's eyes widened as he listened more carefully to the sound of thumping footsteps from angry Barney followers.

Suddenly, the door was thrown open as a frustrated and angry Yuugi (such a rare sight..) stormed in. "Where are you Bakura? Yami? I know you're in here! You're in here somewhere, I'm sure of it!" he called out loudly. He walked around the room slowly, looking under Ryou's bed (they were in his bedroom..I forgot to mention that) and checking out the window to make sure the two hadn't escaped. The only place Yuugi didn't check was the closet.

Yuugi turned to leave when Ryou pointed out, "Yuugi? You haven't checked my closet yet."

The pint sized reincarnation of the all-mighty Pharaoh waved it off. "I know they're not stupid enough to hide in there, it would be too obvious. They must have jumped out the window, let's go check." he said. And off they went..

Well, apparently the two Yamis were stupid enough to hide in Ryou's closet. If one were to open the closet door, they would find two rival Yamis, whose faces were deathly white with fear, huddling in a corner and holding on to each other for dear life. What a sight... not very pleasant, mind you.

The two waited for a sign which announced the departure of their Hikaris and friends. They knew the mob had gone when they heard the all dreadful... BARNEY song! The two undead spirits breathed in deeply, sighing in relief. This is where the 'holding on to each other for dear life' part clicks into their brains.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU SNOB OF A PHARAOH!" Bakura cried, thus earning him a sharp smack on the face.

"Shush, you fool! Do you really want the others to find us?" Yami growled. Bakura quickly shook his head 'no' in response.

"Well?! What are we going to do now?" Bakura barked at Yami, though keeping his voice to a whisper.

Yami pondered for a moment, planning an escape. "Well," he started, "We could always jump out the window and make a mad dash for the streets."

Bakura disagreed. "Sorry, but I don't feel like breaking any bones, or crashing into the trees."

Yami rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Well then, oh mighty tomb robber.. What do YOU suggest we do?" he asked in a snide manner, "Shall we burst through the door and hope our Hikaris and Barney crazed friends won't notice us?" Sarcasm clearly lined his voice.

Bakura however, didn't seem to notice the sarcasm. Thus, answering stupidly, "No idiot. Of course they'd catch us if we were to burst through the hallway." Yami fell down (anime style) when he heard that response. Bakura took no notice, only continuing in his pondering. "I know! We'll... consult the _Big Blue Book Of Anger Management_!!!"

"The what?"

"The Big Blue Book of-"

"Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time!"

"Then why ask?"

"..nevermind.."

Wow... the Big Blue Book of Anger Management is back! After what seemed like forever, Bakura finally uses it! Let us see what advice the great book shall provide for the two yamis...

_Lesson 13: Bwuahaa.. the number 13, how ironic- Oh yes! The chapter title.. ahem Damn, ran out of space for the title._

Yami blinked as he read the chapter title. He raised one questioning brow and looked at the white haired yami beside him. "Where the heck did you get this?" Bakura only shrugged it off.

_Well. Now you know you and your companion are on the brink of ultimate DOOM! doom doom doom..doom Let me try and guess the current situation you're in: Your Hikari and friends have suddenly become Barney crazed fans; who, I might add, want to torture and kill you two even if it is against Barney's teachings. Well, may I suggest jumping out the window and making a mad dash for the streets?_

"Nope.. The tomb robber doesn't want to 'break any bones'."

_No? Darn, that would have been a good way out. Hm.. this may sound idiotic, but it may actually work.. Why don't you burst through the door and hope your Hikaris and Barney crazed friends won't notice you?_

The two Yamis looked questioningly at each other. Why was the book repeating everything they had said?

_Alright. So you don't like those suggestions. Well, you're on your own, buddy. This is a tough little situation you got yourself in. What this book can do for you now is only to give you tips and advice:_

Tip 1: Don't think those Barney fans are all into friendship and all that Anzu junk. They're nothing like those nice little bunny lovers. These crazed people will hunt down and chop your heads off at the first Barney insult they hear. Insult their leader, and you're dead!

Bakura gulped, remembering the little song he made up a while ago infront of his Hikari. "Oops?.."

_Tip 2: If your friends have already started singing the Barney Song, then it's too late to bring them back. They've been infested! Okay, no, not exactly INFESTED. More like.. cursed. Yeah! That's it...CURSED! So, every curse comes with a counter spell. FIND IT._

Tip 3: No one knows about the Barney counter spell, so you're on your own.

Tip 4: In 48 minutes of Barney love, victims of the curse will become.. CHIBIS. How horrible..

Tip 5: Another tip would be nice, wouldn't it? Well, sorry guys. No more advice, we ran out .

Well, that's all we can do for you at this moment. We wish you the best of luck soldier! I salute you!

Bakura shut the book and threw it in an abandoned corner of the room. "A lot of help that brought.." he grumbled. "We might as well turn ourselves into those crazy people.. WHY MUST THE GODS TORMENT US?!-"

"Shhh!" Yami hushed, clamping his hand over Bakura's mouth. He at first struggled in his arch enemy's grip, but stopped his futile attempt of escape as he heard....

....You guessed it...

CRYING! - and not just any cry. It was... oh the horror... a CHILD's cry. Which can only mean one thing: The ice cream truck will come by in twenty minutes. Best get your money ready.

"Is that the music of an ice cream truck I hear?" Bakura asked, sticking his head out the window.

Yami pulled the Tomb Robber back inside the room, then hit him across the head. "You idiot! Don't you hear the incessant wailing of little children, coming from your own home?!"

The pharaoh and recieved a stupid blink and a cocked head from the other. "Yeah? So?"

"Didn't you read what the book said? About.. Chibis? cringes"

"Pfft, you listen to THAT old thing?

Yami started to smack his head against the wall. "How can you explain the crying from downstairs?"

Bakura simply shrugged. "Ryou's babysitting?"

At this point, Yami started his daily frustration dance. A daily ritual which involves him, the floor, a bed, some junk, and anger. Do YOU wish to be like Yami and do the frustration dance? crowd cheers Well! To start off, toss some junk around- lamps, pencils, scrap paper, glass mugs, whatever else you can pick up -being sure to avoid hitting the murderous fiend currently standing beside you. The second step is to throw yourself on some random bed and jumping up and down screaming and cussing (just make sure your parents aren't around). The last and final step of the dance is to throw all of yourself onto the ground and throwing a tantrum. Wail, scream, kick, act like you were four. Don't know if you're doing it properly? Take a look at our favourite Yami over there.

And thus, Yami danced. Danced, danced. He seemed to do this quite often around Bakura, although the thief couldn't quite figure out WHY.

'_Curses. The idiot's doing that thing again. I hope he doesn't touch Ryou's guitar- oh wait.. it's trashed. Great, another week of glaring and cursing from Ryou. Some innocent hikari he is.._' thought Bakura.

Now, we go into Yami's thoughts...bwuahah..: '_It's not FAIR! It's not FAIR! It's not FAIR! It's NOT. It's NOT. It's NOT! Why do I always have to deal with the idiots? Why can't I ever deal with normal, living people? I don't care if I'm dead, I WANT TO BE AROUND NORMAL LIVING PEOPLE! boo-hoo..._'

Okay! Let's NOT go into the pharaoh's thoughts again...

"Yami! SHUT UP! You..You... BABY!" Bakura yelled.

And just at that moment, the door to the bedroom was flung open. Both Sennen Spirits stood staring at the person who had opened the door. Or rather, a CHILD. The youngster held onto a stuffed toy, shapped like an oddly familiar purple dinosaur. The little boy had oddly familiar white hair as well...

"Bakuwa? Yami? I'm hungry..." The kid announced, leaning against the door for support.

Bakura and Yami exchanged glances, both trying to figure out who this child was, and what he was doing here. Then it clicked...

"RYOU?!"

-----------------------------------------

**A/N:** Well.. that took a long while to write. I've been trying to finish this chapter for months now! I'm sorry it's short, it's the best I could do for now. The next chapter should come out in about a month. Kick me in the butt if I DON"T get it out by then.

**Thank you to:** Windswift , BlueMew, Misura , Ryou Bakura Obsessor , Peace Writer , Rei Akita , Mina-chan AMD , Nari-chan SND , Melony Mutou , sdrive , SilverWinter , labyrinth of chaos , Mooncinder , Zenryo , hieilover2004


End file.
